All Games
RPG
Adventure
SIM
Story
Cute
Game Kits
Amaranth Games (games only by us)
| Re: The Immortal |
Subject: Re: The Immortal by eveleny on 2009/4/10 5:53:21 I have just started reading your story. I think that maybe in the first segment you mentioned the name Jacques too many times instead of using a pronoun in it's place. Just a humble opinion  . |
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ©2007 Amaranth Games, LLC
Powered by Xoops
|