tomorrow is the first day of school...if you dont post tmr its gonna be the worst day of my life!!

I'm laughing in real life right now.

Thank you. I'm really, really flattered although I'm not sure I deserve it.

Alright, I'll try my very hardest to get a chapter up tomorrow.

great! hope you manage to get it!

Falling in love. Definitely falling in love over here. With the story, with Rhen and Lars again, with you for writing it... Love all around. Specifically for:
-the note she left for Dameon
-Lars seeing Rhen again the first time
-LARS. He's just so cute with the chasing and the taking her out for free food...
-"She had stopped the bad situation from ever happening." That's not in order, but it's just such a good line!
-"'Oh no, someone cast a healing spell, quick!'”
-Lars again. I really don't know why I'm so attracted to him when he's being all egotistical but he's just so CUTE.
-Rhen in swordsinger mode. BEAST.

Oh, no! I'm so sad I've reached the end now.
Definitely looking forward to more.

One thing, though--in that last chapter, Kylie's name changed magically to Kaylie a couple of times.

I look forward to more Lars.

That is really bad news.

I love this story. Especially the way they keep dancing around each other and misunderstanding everything!

since tonight did /not/work out the way i hoped, the new chapter will have to wait until tomorrow.

i'm very sorry.

it is over halfway done and i will make it the first thing i work on when i get back, in the hopes it will actually be finished (maybe finally get a chapter up over by little joys, as well)


...going to have to start eating supper by the computer, won't i.


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re: rena

thank you! haha your comment is so detailed it makes me feel special ^^

I love Lars being egotistical because it allows me to play with him being more mature and yet... not. It makes him more interesting that he has such an exaggerated sense of self.

I also felt such relief having a chance to show Rhen kicking butt because she gets kicked around a lot this fic and she's kind of insanely strong and I didn't want anyone to forget that.

Thank you for pointing out the kylie/kaylie issue, I'm not sure how that happened O_O but I know I've done worse switches... In any case, it's fixed now.


your wish for more Lars should come true as soon as I wrap up the next bit. All signs point to that happening tonight.

great!! but school is starting...soon i might not have time to read your stories...

aw well, if i really dont have time, then i'll just get yelled at, i wont be able to resist

Where were the files? Where were they, where were they?

She had checked the entire length of the table four time, under and over and along the undersides of the benches (how they would have ended up there, she had no idea, but she checked just to be sure).

She rustled frantically through all the nearby bookshelves. Should shee start taking out the books and flipping through them?

Aaah this was ridiculous. It didn’t make sense for her files to have magically ended up inside a book.

But she found herself scanning the tops of the books anyway, looking for a tell-tale envelope peeking out.

There was nothing.

For a moment she simply stood there, helplessly. What was she supposed to do now?

“Um… Can I help you?”

She turned and saw one of the assistant librarians, standing there looking concerned. A wave of relief flooded her.

“Yes. Yes. Oh, thank you.” Why hadn’t she thought of this already? “I had some very important files, but I accidentally left them here… You wouldn’t happen to know where they are, would you?”

Her hopes faded as she saw the complete lack of recognition printed on the man’s face.

“I could ask the other librarians,” he offered. “They might have seen them. But I did clean this area just twenty minutes ago and there wasn’t anything here, I can tell you for certain.”

“Then… then where could they have gone?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Look, I’ll ask if anyone saw anything.”

“…Okay,” she said. It wasn’t like there was anything else she could do.

She walked with him towards the main desk, but hung back as he approached the lady sitting there and asked her something, in response to which she got up and went into a small backroom, only to return shaking her head.

Rhen stepped forward, already knowing what the answer would be.

“I’m sorry, we don’t have it in the lost and found box,” the female librarian said, “and that’s the only place it would be, unless it got thrown out.”

“I guess that’s it, then.” Rhen said.

“I guess so,” the librarian said. “I’m sorry, but that’s really all I can…” she trailed off.

“What?” Rhen asked.

“No. Nothing. It’s just… when did you say you left the files here?”

“Um… around two and a half hours ago? I guess?”

“Hm,” the woman said.

“What is it?”

“It’s not… well, it’s not really likely. But earlier today- it might have been two and a half hours ago, I’m not sure… I actually did see someone leaving with some files… But, they were probably his, right?”

“Right…” Rhen said, slowly.

“It’s only. I thought of it because. Well. I’m pretty sure when he came in he didn’t have any files. Only when he left.”

“Wow. I’m impressed you noticed that kind of detail,” Rhen said.

The librarian reddened and looked away.

Oh. So that was it.

“Anyway,” the librarian continued, “it’s worth a try, right? Maybe he saw them and decided to return them to you.”

‘Yeah…” Rhen said, doubtfully. “So… who was this person, anyway?”

“Professor Tenobor.”

Rhen stared at her.

Of course. Of course Lars had her papers. Why she hadn’t thought of it beforehand, she had no idea, but as soon as the name dropped off the librarians lips she knew.

---

Lars had spent the past two hours in a much improved mood, despite his aching face. He’d kept having to suppress a smile- the muscle movement made his cheek throb painfully.

He was discussing an upcoming project with one of his students at the end of class when he heard the door slam open and, startled, broke off from the conversation to see who it was.

“Lars. Tenobor.” Rhen hissed through gritted teeth as soon as she stepped into his classroom.

…What was her issue now? He rolled his eyes- making sure she could see the gesture- and turned back to the student. “I’m sorry, Darina. It appears we’ll need to finish this up some other day.”

The student groaned and shot Rhen a look as she dashed out of the classroom.

“And what’s this about?” He said, turning languidly towards her. “If you’ve come to apologize about kicking me in the face, please do try to avoid inflicting some other injury in the process.” He gestured towards his cheek- which, while not quite as swollen as it had been, (thanks to some judiciously applied ice) was still visibly bruised.

He smirked, and might have regretted it- ow, a girl should not be able to kick that hard, although Rhen was more a freak than a girl in any case- had her reaction not been so amusing. But watching her turn red and look away slightly as she answered made it worth every ounce of pain.

She sputtered. “The- you deserved that kick, you stupid, overgrown…”

“Yes, yes, yes,” he said, waving his hand. “I know. So, no apology? Then why are you here?”

She took a deep breath. “I know I was a little… bratty… last night but that does not allow you to run off with my papers just to be amusing.”

“You practiced that line, didn’t you?” He asked, arching an eyebrow. “And anyway I only took your papers because you left them there. I figured I would be nice and return them to you, even if you did injure me for no reason.”

“O-kay,” She said, slowly. “So now you can return them to me, right?”

“Mmmm…” He said.

“What?”

“I’m just… thinking about it,” he said, grinning.

She glared at him. “You are such an… an… annoying, pain-in-the-neck…”

“You sure you want to be calling me names right now?” He said, grin widening.

She snapped her mouth shut.

He waited.

A minute passed. Then another.

“Aaaah! Tell me what you want from me already!” Rhen groaned.

“Be quiet, I’m thinking here.”

“Really want to hit you…” Rhen muttered.

He rose and stretched, yawning. “How about we head down to the lounge, shall we?”

She looked at him suspiciously. “You’re leaving the files here?”

“No, I’m taking them with me,” he said, smiling and picking up his briefcase. “It’s locked, by the way, so don’t try.”

They walked down to the lounge together without speaking. When they arrived, Lars settled comfortable down in the nearest chair.

“Now bring me a drink,” He said. “Mulberry juice, preferably.”

She stood there, clenching and unclenching her fists.

“Well?” He asked.

She turned on her heel and stalked to the lounge café, returning a few minutes later with a tall glass of Mulberry juice. Nothing for herself, though, he noticed. He wondered why.

He waited for a moment, but she didn’t seem to be about to sit.

“…Feel like giving me a massage?” He offered, flexing tired, aching shoulders.

“So this is it,” she burst out. “This is what you want.”

He blinked, confused.

“You still want to order me around,” she hissed.

“I wasn’t- I didn’t-” He hadn’t realized that was what he’d been doing just now, he wanted to say, if she took it that seriously he could stop, but she cut him off before he could continue.

“And you still treat me like dirt half the time. What was the meaning of that apology a year ago, then? I can’t believe I actually took you seriously then. It must have been another one of your messed up jok-“

“Shut up.” He said, and she froze.

The words had come out harder, colder than he’d expected. But she has touched a nerve with her insinuations and he-

“You don’t seem to realize how hard it was for me to say that back then.”

“Of course I do,” she said, dismissively.

He put the drink down. He wasn’t really feeling as thirsty as he’d thought.

“No. I don’t think you actually understand at all.”

She stared at him.

And then sank slowly into the chair opposite him.

“I can’t handle this,” she said, softly. “I’m sorry, Lars. Every time we’re together this ends up-” She buried her face in her hands. “I meant that apology this morning, I really did. But- I just… I see you, and it’s here, in this school, and I just go back to being. Hurt and angry and scared. And I can’t… I can’t deal with-” She breathed in slowly.

“This isn’t working,” she said. “And I have other things to worry about right now. So can I please, please just have the files back now? And we can just call it a day and not-”

She broke off abruptly, stared down at her hands for a moment.

“I got a student badly injured today,” she whispered. “I could have avoided it had I just read his stupid file before I went and- Why do I keep messing up? This was supposed to be my freedom, my… why can’t I get anything right?”

“Did you really not believe my apology back then?” He said, quietly.

She stared at him, broken out of her train of thought.

“I- No, of course I did, that’s why I…” She paused. “At least I thought I did, anyway. That’s why I forgave you. Because you were sincere and. And truthfully I’d been waiting for that apology for such a long time. It was almost a relief to accept it but…”

She brushed her hair back, miserably. “But it’s not really enough, is it?”

“I don’t know.” He said. “You tell me.”

“I still have nightmares…” she whispered. “You’d think, I went up against the most evil demon that ever existed, I would… And I do have nightmares about him, sometimes. But somehow they’re not as bad as- being shoved into a sack, screaming and crying… and waking up every day cold and alone somewhere so, so far away from home when I’m so helpless and- and frightened…”

“I wasn’t the one who did that,” he said, feeling cold.

“I know, I know, intellectually I realize that. It’s just that- somewhere, in here-” and she pressed her hand against her chest- “it’s all linked together, you understand? And you’re a part of it and, look, it’s not just you, I still blame Talia even though I know she had her reasons. The point is- The point I’m trying to make- Look, I’m trying. And it’s not your fault. And I’m sorry. But it’s not- I just need you to understand that it isn’t going to be like- like- like whatever it is that it isn’t going to be. And that’s all.”

She stood up.

“I need to go.”

“One second,” he said, woodenly. He opened the briefcase and pulled out her papers.

“Thank you,” she said. He could see that she was trying to say something else, too. But he didn’t think he wanted to hear it.

“Rhen…” he said. “I can’t- I can’t help how much of a- I didn’t know back then, I didn’t realize or think about it and I’m-“

“I know,” she said.

She turned and walked away.

For the second time that day he was left there standing, but this time he gathered up his things and walked slowly in the opposite direction.

This chapter wasn't originally supposed to turn out like this.

Just letting you know.

yay!!! an update!!! thank you!!

I don't know what to say. No, the story is good, but saying "Nice story!", "Great update!" everytime gets old fast for me. I want to say something different, but don't know what to say. Si I posted these instead.

Poor Rhen...I would have probably killed my self if i become anyone's slave. Nice update Every time you update you beat my expectations, hand's down Looking froward for the rest.

Oh, it's so good! I can't wait for more!

Every bit as amazing as the rest.

I knew it was Lars who had the files the moment she discovered they weren't on the table anymore.

The whole apology bit makes me all sad for them. I totally understand what Rhen's saying about blaming people irrationally, though.

Thank you sandstorm, truedshadow.
sana96- thanks. I think it must have been such a hard thing.. not easy to forgive at all.
aveyondstars- thank you!
Rena- Well, it was rather predictable- who else could it be? But I just found it hard to imagine that he'd see them lying there and /not/ take them.
I think... forgiveness is such a complicated thing. And with the bigger, more painful things... even if you "forgive" them, if you decide not to hate them, you still have a certain amount of grudge left, and if you manage to get rid of that too you still feel the memory of unhappiness attached to them...
(Writing that portion, I felt a lot of sympathy for Lars because I've been on that side of an argument before... It's harder for him, I think, because he's been crushing on her and I think he didn't realize how very far her feelings were from that until now.)

Makes you wonder why Rhen didn't immediately figure it out. Lol.
I tend to be on the blaming side of that. >.>
I'm having that audience syndrome in which you just want the characters to tell each other how they really feel. Shame things never work that way.

You'll notice that afterwards she wondered why she didn't figure out, also. I think she just assumed they were lost... As I wrote it I was imagining that sinking feeling when something very important is missing...

I know the feeling of wanting them to discuss their real feelings. But Rhen just did- This was a big step for her, by the way, and I'm still surprised that it happened but it just... did- and Lars is way, way too repressed to do it without something major pushing him. He tries... But yeah.


---

I don't think I've ever really been on the "blaming" side (or rather blame is the wrong word to use... it wasn't anyone's fault...), but I know what it feels like to have a place or person ruined for you even after you've "recovered". And it's impossible for me to imagine that what happened to Rhen is the kind of thing she can simply forget about. Injuries you receive as a kid last a long, long time- even the small ones can stay without you realizing it, and for something big like Rhen's case....

As for being on the receiving side... what I can say is, that sometimes you think what you're doing is not such a big deal, and only afterwards you realize that for the other person it was a very, very big deal. Most especially as kids this can happen. And... yeah.

You're a really great writer to be able to portray the character in this way to the reader. The reader feels sympathy for both Lars and Rhen, even though Rhen is the main character and she is mad at Lars. It's really hard for me to do that in my stories.

Yes, I did notice that. I suppose it was just one of those things where you feel oblivious for not seeing it until it was pointed out to you.

I don't think I really got how hard it was for Rhen until you actually said it. I'm often terrible with finding depth. >.> But a lot (or at least some) of the trouble is a lack of good communication between the two of them. Stuff like that is just never easy. Sigh.

I think I'm just wishing they would each just magically understand how the other one is feeling so they can get their happy ending. And everyone knows that never happens. D=

Blurble!! update!!! now!! its been waaaayy too long!! please, im dying here!! what have you been doing?!!?!?!?!?!