see at least with Uncertainty Principle I posted it here, and therefore saved nearly everything- except for the nearly-finished latest chapter (I've re-written it twice and I'm not sure I have the pateicne to re-write it a third time ldkshjfdskjfh), snippets from chapters even later than that, and my notes. But I had a Te'ijal/Galahad fic, maybe eight pages long, that I do not have saved anywhere else (I had refrained from posting it because I felt bad about leaving so many in-progress stories and decided I would wait to post that one only once it was completely done)...

I also had a rather important essay for a contest as well as simply loads of schoolwork and other important things.

---

My laptop, for the record, was only three months old.


The universe hates me.

D:

*cries*

@Blurble: O___O Ouch!! Happened to me once last year. Laptop is 3 month old, got virus, refused to boot, and had to reformat it. At least I have all my important documents stored somewhere else, but... AKDUGAILDGAIUD I feel your pain..

it's not a virus, though. I'd almost forgive a virus because that would be somewhat my fault, at least.

it's a mechanical failure. as in, hardware, not software, is broken. physically.

I'm sorry to hear about your laptop!!

I know the feeling of irritation that comes along with rewriting chapters... especially if you've written it more than 2 times.

Anyway, I hope you'll manage to do it... eventually.

-

I simply love this fic of yours~ You've got Lars down! And it's interesting to see Rhen like how you portrayed her.

Your writing style also amuses me~ to the point that despite the sleepiness I've been feeling since 10 PM, I still finished reading everything so far by 1:30 AM. XD

aw thank you.
I feel extremely flattered and am glad you enjoyed.

aww man,I was really enjoying your stories.Oh well, hope you start writing soon
p.s. the universe hates evryone at some point or the other,and the result is my broken new cellphone xD

A little bit of something:
-----





They sat down on a bench under a palm tree.

“How is Pirate John?” Rhen asked, pretending to be fascinated by her fingernails.

“He runs off. Then I have to hunt him down. Then… this and that.” Elini said, smiling smugly, in a way that made Rhen distinctly uncomfortable.

“My other husbands combined do not cause half the trouble he does.”

“Where is he now?”

Elini frowned. “That… I am not sure. He left me false tracks, but I was not fooled- or so I thought. Now I wonder if perhaps they were not the false trail at all.”

She paused, lips pursed.

“Well,” she said, brightly. “It matters not. He will show up eventually. He is enamored of me, after all.”

“Well, I-“ Rhen began, and faltered. She tried again.

“The Oracle gave me three choices. A quiet life with a childhood love- the love of a child, you see, who might still live in me somewhere but certainly isn’t me, anymore. Or solitude. Or a lie.

And whether or not she realized it, within that lie lay another, that I could pick if I so chose. And I did.

Because.

Truthfully-“ she swallowed- “Truthfully I think I’ve forgiven Dameon, by now. There were reasons, I think, behind what he did.

Long-held feelings of resentment can fester terribly.” And that, she thought, was something she would know. “And… And Ahriman could lie better than any mortal. But.”

But I didn’t want- I didn’t want any of it, I only wanted to be-“

She broke off again。

“I was very, very young when I was stolen away from everything I had known. And I was still so young when the fate of the world was laid on my shoulders. And what I realized when it was all over, when the oracle offered me the choice of my entire future, laid out in front of me-
What I realized was that I wasn’t ready to decide my entire life yet, because I didn’t even know me.
I don’t know if I could have ended up with Dameon,” She said. “Maybe it was possible, in some other lifetime. But… we missed each other, somehow.
I wasn’t ready. No matter how much I thought I loved him- however much I still loved him- Even if love is supposed to be about sacrifice, I still- I still had to choose myself first because. Because how could I possibly share with someone else what I hadn’t even found for myself yet?
I couldn’t share Rhen Darzon. I certainly couldn’t share Rhen Pendragon, with a title attached to her heart.”

Somewhere in the middle of her speech she had stood up. She was short of breath now, looking down at Elini and sort of amazed at what she had just said. It felt true and right but she’d never really thought it before, never really said it before…

“Your sincerity,” Elini said, carefully, “I think cannot be doubted.”

Rhen held her breath.

“I pity Dameon,” Elini said, softly. “But I must pity you as well. I will accept the justification you’ve offered.”

“Thank you,” Rhen said, and to her horror her eyes began to water.

“Now, shall we discuss some lighter things?” Elini offered. “Before I must leave to seek my husband, that is.”

----




This was part of the chapter that I have decided I will not be re-writing. The only reason I still have this part is because I PMed it to my darling Marabelle and as a result it was saved. It's not perfect but it capture a few ideas and whatever. I am sharing it with you, and then I am going to do a bit of a skip in the story. Because originally I had a bit written about what happened in between this conversation and what I'm hopefully goigng to post next... including an encounter between Elini and Lars that was very fun to write before it, you know, disappeared...

But now I'm just going to time-skip because frankly I'm a bit sick of this. So we're heading straight to the part where Rhen decides she's overreacting, and responds accordingly. I'm sorry. But I figured doing this would be better than letting the story rot forever.

Hey, at least it's an update. Heavens knows how real life can suck sometimes. I haven't even STARTED writing anything, even though I have epic plans brewing in my head.

Poor conflicted Rhen.. I hope she finds peace of mind soon...

Nice Blurble! Ohh how i wish that the their was more! But as long as you promise to update I really don't mind the size or length <3

yay! that was great! keep up the good work!

She walked briskly into the café and ordered a glass of water, and as she was standing there tapping her fingers impatiently she heard a man coming up behind her-

“What’s happening with my mulberry juice?” He said, impatiently.

Well. Of course she’d run into him now. After all it had already been well-established that the universe loved, loved, loved Rhen Darzon.

“Buck up,” she thought to herself. “You were planning on confronting him anyway.”

And so she took a deep breath and turned and even stopped for a moment to savor the expression on his face…

“Lars,” she said.

And then there were a lot of options for what would come next. Like “sorry,” but she didn’t feel like saying that, or “I’m a moron,” which was rather like stating the obvious.

“I’ve been having difficulty with the kids I’m supposed to be tutoring,” she said. “Do you feel like sitting and brainstorming with me? Because I’m completely stumped and don’t know what to do next.”

She waited for a moment, and then added- “You can close your mouth now, you know. You look like a fish.”

“I-“ He said.

And there were a lot of options for what would come next.

“Okay,” he said.

----

Were they going to be talking about what had happened? He wasn’t entirely sure what it had been, but he didn’t want to talk about it.

Why was he agreeing to this?

Because he’d spent the past three weeks aching for the sound of her voice, the kind of ache he hadn’t registered until just now, when she’d turned towards him and a feeling of relief flooded him and left him floored.

“No, I’ve never had anything to do with any of the three,” he said, leaning back and trying to look casual, if only to disguise how desperately he was drinking her in- why, why, why was she so gorgeous? It wasn’t fair. “What did you say that boy’s family name was?”

“Who?”

“The… Hio. That one.”

“Evenstone,” she said.

“Ah.” He said. “I haven’t heard of the boy, himself, but the family is a very famous one.”

“Oh,” she said, “I knew that. They mentioned it in his file.”

“For most people, it would be obvious just from seeing the name.” He smirked, just because he could. “I guess the people who deal with files must be instructed to be considerate of clueless idiots.”

“Well, I don’t really care about nobles,” she muttered.

He raised his eyebrows at that.

“You are one,” he said, “Remember?”

“I turned down the title. Dameon has it now.”

“You never really explained that to me, you know.”

“There wasn’t much to explain,” she said, shrugging.

“That’s… ridiculous,” he said, after struggling in vain to find an even stronger word to express the ridiculousness of that statement.

“Mmm… Maybe,” she said, at last. “But I’ve… I’ve explained it enough and I think I’m a bit sick of dwelling on it, frankly. The reasons behind it are irrelevant, now, I did it and it’s done.”

Yeah, except I tore out the page of the calendar that had your wedding day on it and then suddenly you showed up in front of me and I’d like to know why” He thought. But he didn’t feel like pressing the issue, so there was a pause in the conversation that felt- awkward.

“In any case,” Rhen said, briskly. “Noble or commoner is not the issue here, it’s a matter of his ability. He can’t do magic properly.”

“Actually, it is the issue here. It’s rare that this happens, but if he’s an Evenstone it’s certainly possible that he’s a special circumstance- someone allowed into the academy even without magical ability.”

She gave him a look of disgust. “I already knew that.”

“Oh, of course,” he said, smoothly. “I forgot. Your files. A wonder you ever left them in the library for me to find, considering how attached you are.”

“I regret leaving them there. I’m not sure I properly told you what a botched-up job I made of my first day tutoring,” she said.

“You never properly told me that you were tutoring,” He said, delicately.

She flushed. “I know. Even after you were so worried about me. And I- and I appreciated it,” she said, looking up at him earnestly. “I really did.”

“…” he said. It was the kind of wordlessness that happened when the girl you liked was looking at you in a way that made your chest feel funny, but Rhen took it as something else entirely.

“I’m really, really, really sorry,” she said, and it surprised her how naturally it came out in the context of their conversation, instead of her forcing it, out of the blue. “It’s my fault that I just- I ran away from one little wedding- big wedding- whatever- and turned into a wreck and dragged you along, I’m sorry. It’s not fair of me when you’ve been so nice- well, except for when you’ve been an absolute jerk and a selfish brat but um I’m supposed to be apologizing so. I’m sorry.”

“Absolute jerk?” he said.

She glared. “Yes. Do not try arguing the point.”

“I’m hurt,” he said, clasping a hand dramatically to his chest. It stung.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Like hell you are.”

“I thought I got better,” He said, and internally winced at the tiny whining edge that had crept into his voice.

“You… did.” She said, slowly. “And… maybe I mostly got used to it. Or we both grew up. Who knows?” She let out a sigh. “Can we get back to the matter at hand, please? Now, about Gaden…”

----

A day ago Elini had visited him in his apartment, out of the blue.

“Please do not embrace me,” she said, as soon as he opened the door. “I have already made it quite clear that I do not find you attractive or appealing, and I therefore do not want to have to take responsibility for the untoward contact by marrying you.”

“I-“ He said. And gave up.

Talking to Elini was like banging your head against a brick wall, only significantly more painful and frustrating. He strongly suspected she did it just to annoy him- none of the other party members seemed to get the same special… treatment.

He supposed he should have been flattered to be the sole recipient of Elini’s exceedingly bizarre playful side. He rather felt like running away screaming, instead. (How the Pirate put up with her he could not imagine. Being love-addled must have helped.)

“Please do not take offense,” she said. “I just find you to be both ugly and annoying, not to mention weak, shrimpy, and pathetic.”

“Why are women from Veldt so crazy?” He groaned. (It was definitely the love-addled. It was utterly incomprehensible otherwise)

She ignored him, sweeping past him into his apartment.

“I saw Rhen today,” she said. “She seemed somewhat distraught.”

“I. Um. Really?”

“When she described her life here I could not help but notice how often your name came up.” Elini smirked- no, leered- at him. “Taking advantage of this opportunity, are you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, stiffly.

“Oh, I see,” Elini said.

Mentally he cursed himself for that one moment of weakness a year ago when he had attempted to prove that, as a matter of fact, he was not at all in any way possibly imaginable interested in marrying Elini. At the time he’d been so irritated that letting slip that he liked Rhen had seemed like a minor price to pay for getting Elini off his back (and he hadn’t really thought it out, anyway. Hadn’t fully acknowledged it until he said it, for the very first time). But as it had completely failed to produce the desired effect and had given Elini permanent ammunition against him, he had regretted it bitterly ever since.

“You… you didn’t tell her, did you?”

“Of course not,” she said, looking offended. “I keep my vows.” She paused. “Including my marriage vows, but I must regretfully inform you that you will never receive those.”

He chose to ignore that. “Good,” he said. “And anyway it’s not like you think. We haven’t spoken for weeks.”

“Really?” Elini said, looking thoughtful. “That explains it.”

“What?” he said.

“Oh, nothing,” she said. “Do try to cheer up, though. I have a strong suspicion your efforts to distract yourself from the pain of your hopeless love for me by pursuing another woman on the side may…”

“What?” he repeated, as she trailed off.

“Oh, never mind.” She said. “I must make haste if I hope to track down my husband.”

Stupid, infuriating woman.

“Please never stop by again,” he muttered, as he accompanied her out the door.

“What was that? I’m afraid I could not hear you.”

“AAAAGH!” He half-screamed, and slammed the door in her face. It failed to make him feel any better.

----

In the course of their conversation Rhen mentioned meeting Elini.

“It’s weird,” she said. “Because you just sort of accepted that I wasn’t with Dameon anymore, so somehow I just assumed that everyone else would be okay with it.” She laughed, ruefully. “I’m not so good at thinking about consequences.”

“Yes,” he said.

“Why did you react so calmly?” she asked. “And, actually… Now that I think about it. Why weren’t you in Thais for the wedding?”

“I- I thought you were on your honeymoon at first. And then I was just confused. So by the time you finally explained it to me I had the opportunity to be prepared for the idea, I guess.”

He closed his eyes and prayed she wouldn’t notice how blatantly he had ignored her second question.

“Hmm,” she said. “I guess that makes sense.”

And he was so relieved that she had let it drop he forgot to ask her what exactly it was she had said about him to Elini.

Author's notes: Because I've been holding back from posting these the whole fic. And I've decided- to heck with that. Although the ones that I've been holding back for nearly- how long now? Months- I'm going to save until the very end, on second thought.

----

It should be noted that one of my alternate ship arrangements for Av1 is Rhen/Dameon-with-hair (I know, an OC pairing, what can I say? xD) and Lars/Elini. For the sake of this fic, though, let's just say that there's no way it would ever happen. Ever.
(Once we're on the topic of Lars's relationships with the females of his party- just because I might not ever get the chance to show this in the fic- It is my personal belief Lars and Te'ijal get along surprisingly well. Mostly because they understand each other in a very weird way. As for Mad Marge. Um. Yeah.)

---

What did Rhen say to Elini? Nothing so fascinating, sorry to disappoint. In the process she realized she was way overreacting about the whole thing. That's pretty much it. Elini is just being mean and letting Lars get his hopes up. What a cruel woman.


Which is to say, if I were keeping a Lars attraction meter for Rhen right now, it would probably still be at about 0%. Affection? Let's say 82%. Ah, cruel one-sided love.)


----

If you noticed Lars being a lot more blatant about liking Rhen in this chapter, there are two possible explanations-

1. absence makes the heart grow fonder.
2. I got lazy about keeping things subtle and decided to just make it really obvious.

LOL, yay update! Elini being mean to Lars is fun to read about

YAY! That was such a cute chapter!

Cute chapter.

Noticed some errors though.
Quote:
I know that you typed it correctly for most of it, but I'd like to point this out since most people make this mistake so much.
Correct: "Ah," he said.
Seriously. There are a few more errors like this, but not too many.

Quote:
It should be lowercase. Always. Unless it's like "What?" He rolled his eyes as he continued painting his toenails.
Check out published books. It's easier to understand that instead of trying to comprehend my not-so-helpful explanation. >< I saw this. Frequently.

And yeah. At least you don't have major grammatical errors.

YAY! AWESOME! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 You updated! I just loved Lars and Elini's Conversation! XD XD XD it was hilarious! <3 update soon! <3

Quote:
“Ah.” He said.

I know that you typed it correctly for most of it, but I'd like to point this out since most people make this mistake so much.
Correct: "Ah," he said.
Seriously. There are a few more errors like this, but not too many.

Quote:
“What?” He said.

It should be lowercase. Always. Unless it's like "What?" He rolled his eyes as he continued painting his toenails.



For the first, nah, I think I'll be keeping it, grammatically incorrect or not. That "Ah" is supposed to be a sentence, in and of itself. Or rather a sentence fragment. It's a stylistic thing for me, I feel the comma makes it a different kind of ah.

For the second... lemme go edit that. Thanks.

how the heck did this turn into an 80-page monstrosity, still counting?

And the next chapter might be coming soon, maybe.

“So for today we’ll be having a special guest,” Rhen said. It felt ridiculous as it came out, like a kindergarten introduction.

“Hey,” Lars said, smoothly. She kicked him with the side of her foot. He didn’t even wince.

“Professor Lars!” Gaden said, eyes widening.

“What, she can’t even handle the three of us without calling in help?” Hio muttered, loud enough for both Rhen and Lars to hear.

Rhen felt her face burn. Lars had put his hand to his mouth and she could see him fighting down the smirk, with little success.

“Well, well,” he said. “Look what we have here.”

She considered kicking him again. But it would only have been an outlet for her to take out her frustrations… she’d save it for when he richly deserved it. Which wouldn’t take too long, she was sure.

Lars prowled around the classroom, an impressive feat considering it took all of five steps to cover the perimeter of the room. All Rhen had ever managed was to squeeze her way through without tripping.

“I’m trying to understand what the Headmaster was thinking,” he said, at last.

“I’m more suited to one-on-one teaching,” she said, defensive.

Hio snickered.

“Well, yes,” Lars said. “But you’d think that the world’s greatest sword-singer wouldn’t be wasting her time teaching a few brats.”

“Don’t exaggerate, I’m not-“ she began to protest, before his words had properly registered in her brain.

Wait. What?

“A swordsinger who even wielded the legendary Sword of Shadows, against Ahriman, the most evil-“

“Lars!” She said, putting a temporary hold on her utter shock at hearing those words coming from his mouth in order to cut him off. “I already told you I don’t want-“

“What, I’m only saying the truth,” Lars said.

Kylie, who had been watching the exchange with interest, finally burst out- “The sword of shadows? Really? Seriously?”

Lars nodded.

“You?” Hio said, looking at Rhen as if she had descended from a very strange planet. Again.

“Omigosh that is so cool!” Kylie squealed. “That’s amazing, isn’t it Hio? I’ve only ever heard of it in legends!” She pulled on Hio’s arm, urging him to agree.

“I.” He said, turning slightly pink. “Well. It. Maybe.”

“I’ve always wanted to wield a legendary sword,” Kylie said, talking more seriously than Rhen had ever previously witnessed. “It’s been my dream since I was six.” She looked at Rhen beseechingly. “Would I be able to-“

Rhen smiled ruefully. “No, I had to return it,” she said, with genuine regret. “It was too dangerous.”

She missed it. It was weird to miss something laced with so much malice, hatred, and pure evil, but there it was. She was someone who was drawn to twisted things, maybe. Or maybe it was simply that she appreciated how the sword had accepted her. It had been clear to her the moment she’d held it in her hands that it was not that accepting of everyone.

But.

That was all a different story.

“There are other legendary swords, though,” she said. “I’m sure you know that.”

Kylie let out a longing sigh. “Well… yes. Even if the sword of shadows…” Her voice trailed away. Then she perked up again. “But you never mentioned that you were that incredible! You should have told us all about it!”

Rhen snuck a look at Lars. He had crossed his arms and was leaning against the doorpost, surveying the scene with a look of utmost satisfaction.

Annnnd now he’d never stop rubbing this in her face.

Well. She owed him one.

“Alright,” she said, “I will tell you all about it- but not today. We’re going out to the training fields now.”

“Thanks,” she murmured, as she passed Lars on the way out.

Then she kicked him, properly this time, just to watch him hide the grimace of pain. Oh yeah. Steel-toed boots were awesome.

----

On the field Hio and Gaden were sparring, and Gaden was having a hard time of it.

Rhen sat in the grass watching, enjoying the nice weather and trying to see if she would notice anything she hadn’t before. But she’d already had the two boys spar, and this time looked to be no different than the rest.

“So tell me,” Kylie begged.

“I said I’d say later, didn’t I?” Rhen said. “I’d rather just tell it once to all of you, honestly.”

“Why?” Kylie said. “It was exciting, wasn’t it? And brave and glorious… You should be telling it over and over again!” She paused, quizzical. “I don’t really understand why you were keeping it quiet in the first place.”

Rhen looked at Kylie’s shining, eager eyes and felt herself wilting under their glow. She fumbled for the words to convey what she wanted to express.

“It was… long and hard and cold and dirty, except for when it was long and hard and hot and dirty.” Rhen said, at last. “The vast majority of it was boring, too. We just ran around and around… scraping by…” She trailed off.

“The company wasn’t entirely terrible,” she said at last. “Sometimes the food was edible. It wasn’t so bad. But these kinds of things… in retrospect of course they always sound exciting, but that’s only because they skip all the unimportant stuff. So you have a hero and they vanquish the evil and in between there’s all the weeks and weeks and months spent doing… you know, the sort of things that need to get done but no one ever cares about afterwards.”

She paused.

“Sort of like sword-singing, really,” she said, pressing the point. “Mostly it’s just practice and practice and drills and drills, hour after hour, but all people see is the ‘talent’ or ‘skill’ and not the work that went into it.”

“But the practice is boring!” Kylie protested. “And it’s not fun, having to swing my sword over and over the same way instead of how I want to!”

“True, that.” Rhen said, and leaned her head back to feel the sun against her face. “But… in the end it manages to be worth it. It’s just that you’ll never get that far, if you keep running away from it. And-“

She turned to look Kylie square in the eye.

“And you do have talent, Kylie. Lots of it. But that isn’t enough. I think deep down you already know that.” She held eye contact with the girl until Kylie turned away herself, ponytail whipping against her back.

She looked small, somehow, hunching in on herself despite her lanky frame.

Rhen waited.

Kylie drew in a deep breath. Then abruptly she picked herself up and walked closer to the edge of the dirt field the boys were sparring on.

“C’mon, Hio!” She yelled, pumping her fist. “You can do it!”

Hio spun on his heel, ducked, and came up to whack the sword out of Gaden’s grasp, the force of the blow sending the other boy sprawling.

“Good job,” Rhen said, impressed, as she walked over and helped Gaden up.

He looked away, unimpressed, and then blushed furiously red as Kylie came running up to hug him.

“That was awesome!” She said.

“Um.” He said.

Rhen, amused at the spectacle, turned away to find Lars regarding her with a curious expression. She walked away from the kids, and he followed her until they were a safe distance away.

“Well, did you see anything useful?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” he said, slowly.

“Agh!” She threw up her hands. “I honestly don’t know what to do, Lars. I saw something in Gaden that was- but it’s gone now, and I’m starting to wonder if maybe I imagined it only I’m positive I didn’t, it’s in his record and everything, and it just doesn’t make sense!”

“Hm.” Lars said. Then- “What were the circumstances surrounding his- whatever it was?”

“We were sparring,” she said, “the first day…”

“Maybe if you…“ He began.

“I have,” she said, “we’ve sparred several times since then but he hasn’t been, it hasn’t been the same, at all.”

“Because of him?”

“Well, yes,” she said, looking at him strangely, “obviously because of him, that’s the whole point isn’t it?”

“I was just wondering if there was anything else that changed as well, to explain the change in Gaden. If there was something we could pinpoint, just to give us a starting point.”

She looked at him, impressed. “Wow, I never realized you could be so… intelligent.”

“Well, obviously,” He said, miffed.

She laughed, amused at how easy it was to ruffle his feathers. “Well, I hope you didn’t sprain something. It can be hard, you know, over-straining muscles you rarely use.”

“The brain is not a muscle,” he said, sticking out his tongue. “Moooron.”

“Baby.”

“Brat.”

“The pot is calling the kettle what now?”

He opened his mouth, on the verge of a retort, but she cut him off.

“Thanks,” She said. “That’s a good idea, but I just can’t…” She frowned, rummagine in her memory. “I just can’t think of anything right now.”

“Sleep on it,” he suggested. Then added- “Imbecile.”

She laughed. “Okay, I will. Hypocrite.”

----

And it was so easy and natural that he couldn’t stop himself, as they began to walk back into the building, still bickering lightheartedly.

“Rhen,” he said.

“What?” She said, still smiling, unawares.

“Do you want to-“ He swallowed.

“Well.” He said at last. “The empress. Every year. She. Um.”

The students had already preceded them into the building, and somehow the sun was too hot and he was starting to feel sticky and wrong and.

This doesn’t mean anything, he told himself.

Silently, he breathed in.

“If you want to be High Sword Singer,” He said. “You need to start thinking about it now. And by thinking about, I mean working on gaining influence, establishing connections…”

“I hadn’t even really thought-“ She said, and then stopped. “Never mind. Go on. I’m listening.”

“Every year the empress holds a ball, in honor of her sword singers and sorcerers. It’s a rather prestigious event, purely political of course, a method for the empress to solidify her loyalty but… In any case.”
This means nothing this means nothing this means nothing he thought, throat dry.

“Sooo. I was wondering. If you would be interested in coming.”

With me, he thinks, and doesn’t manage to quite say it.