Haha great update can't wait for more

ahhh... I have been fooling around with crack pairings and complicated-and-insane AU plots for so long that I actually forgot how much fun Rhen-Lars interaction is. I love the update!!

I. WANT. MOOOOOOOOORE!!

Awesome! I want more toooooo! XD XD XD

<3!!! I love this story so much XD Aw, Lars is so nervous Thanks for the update~!

Thanks everyone! Your support really helps keep me motivated to write more...

hopefully more will come (relatively) soon. this story has been in the doldrums for a while but it's finally getting to where i've been wanting it to go.

Zomg, I can't believe I missed this story... For a whole 9 pages!

I read and read and read. And now my throat is dry and I crave for more. XD

The only qualm I have is that partway through, Lars' feelings for Rhen got extremely obvious all of a sudden. Too sudden for me.

@Kirroha: Yeah, I know. It bothers me as well but essentially I made a choice a while ago- a pact with the devil, I guess- that I'd sacrifice quality (DDDDDDD= TT____TT WAAAAAAAAH) for the sake of finishing this thing (it's been nearly a year. Dear lord, it has been NEARLY A YEAR since I started this. I swear I did not even consider it taking more than a few weeks when I wrote that first chapter. *head/desk x1000000*).

My dream is to come back once I'm done and re-write like crazy because there are soooo many awful parts that I just slapped together so I could lkjfdlkgj get to the next part of the story. And it bugs me like heck that the characters are inconsistent and the plot is choppy but every time I let myself think about that it takes ages for me to write anything. So. Yeah.

(I think of this story as something like a nanowrimo. The priority is getting the next part out, not on editing it into perfection (which is my usual mode of writing). Of course, nanowrimo consists of writing more than this entire story so far, in a MONTH, but I guess for me and my writing constipation (writing is very slow going for me) this is the equivalent of a lightning pace.)

It would be so very great if I had a beta. *whimper* Waah, I want one.

---

Urk. Now that I'm all whined out...

*cough*

Sorry about that.
And thanks. Lately when I update that first post to add a new chapter I look at that list of links and think "That looks so ridiculously intimidating for a new reader..." But it's nice to see new people can still drop by!

i'll wait. i cant not, honestly. your story is awesome!

She didn’t own a dress.

It was ridiculous and embarrassing but there it was.

So inevitably there was yet another shopping trip, this one without a tension-filled encounter with a former comrade, and this time Neya dragged Xindara along, so that between the two of them they managed to convince Rhen to buy something long and slinky (with just a little bit of swirl in the skirt) that shimmered subtly purple- “It brings out your incredible eyes,” Xindara gushed, and Rhen just smiled and nodded, even if wearing a material this light and floaty left her feeling like she wasn’t wearing anything at all.

“All it needs is a splash of something else… Accessories…” Neya mused, looking her up and down.

“I have that scarf…” Rhen mumbled, our of her depth.

Neya’s eyes lit up. “That would be perfect! The red tones would really warm up the outfit, but it has enough purple to match.”

Rhen was relieved when at last the conversation turned to topics other than clothing, and as Xindara and Neya bantered about paperwork and boyfriends and the varying merits of citrus fruits, she let herself get swept along in their easy socializing.

It was fun. Really, it was light and brainless and enjoyable and she meant it quite sincerely when she said she’d love to do it again.

Nonetheless, she felt exhausted when she finally retreated home. Extended, purposeless interactions- not “here’s what you need to do, here’s how to do it, here are the twelve painful ways you could die in the process” but light pointless chatter for the sake of chattering- was not something she was used to, or particularly good at. It was one of those things she’d lost, somewhere along the long crazy path of her life.

She’d hit the adolescent phase while working as a slave, and then while in the barely preferable position of being almost if not quite the social leper in school. Then she’d saved the world, with barely a transition in between. So. There were things she had lost and things she had gained and… it was okay. Because she was getting her footing back and she would learn.

(Dear God, if she had been queen… Whenever she felt guilty about betraying Dameon, all she needed to do was remind herself what an absolute disaster she would have been for her country had she accepted. She had no experience in politics, none. Her idea of diplomacy vaguely involved plumed feathers. And to have had to balance everyone’s desires and expectations and conflicting needs… Oh, she broke out in cold sweat just at the thought.

Whereas Dameon was charming. And from her own personal experience she knew he was an excellent liar. And he’d had ample political experience. And…

She wondered when the day would come that she’d finally be able to stop justifying herself to herself.)

And Neya- she felt herself smiling fondly- Neya was just.... She was lucky to have her as a friend. Even if she couldn’t quite trace where the friendship had come from, that one day she’d woken up and it was there, still it made her happy and left a warm, contented glow in her stomach.

Some things were capable of being simple and painless. It was a wonderful thing to realize.

---

The library had large, comfortable armchairs that had, over the centuries, been combusted, melted, vanished, sublimated, and in one particularly memorable instance fused with a malevolent sorcerer and sucked into a vortex, until finally the librarians became Fed Up and instituted a strict, strict no-magic policy. Teachers were not an exception. Violators would be subject to a painful death.

Rhen perched delicately on the edge of a chair, leaning over a table covered in papers, as Lars sprawled across one of the most venerable armchairs, flipping a pen between his fingers.

He gestured towards the table behind him. “That would be where you apologized to me and then kicked me in the face,” he said. “You are terrible at apologies, really.”

“So are you, as I recall,” Rhen said, not looking up from her preparations for the next day. She’d asked him to brainstorm with her for suggestions in teaching her new class- since he was so much more experienced than her, she had said, looking up at him innocently, and even though he knew, for a fact, that she was shamelessly manipulating him (there was no other reason for her to throw in the flattery) he hadn’t been able to resist.

Nor, in fact, did he have any reason to. And he was flattered- that she had asked. Even though, truthfully, he was a sorcerer. She was a swordsinger. All things considered their fields did not overlap that much.

In any case it had developed into a habit, coming here and relaxing those periods that they had simultaneous frees. Reminiscing, sometimes. Working, mostly.

“Hmmm…” Rhen said, furrowing her brow.

“Thinking hard?” Lars asked.

“Shh,” she said, flicking her hand to dismiss him. “I think I had an epiphany.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“A stupid epiphany.”

She jumped up suddenly, knocking her chair over.

“A really, really stupid epiphany. Lars, can you come with me? Now?”

“Huh?” He said.

“I just realized something painfully obvious. Thankfully I happen to have a solo session with Gaden scheduled next anyway, otherwise having to wait to see if I’m right would drive me crazy. But I need you with me.”

“Um.” He said. Technically, he had a meeting scheduled with one of his students. But he happened to know that said student was absent, so…

“Sure,” he said.

----

She dashed into the General Studies Form 1 classroom out of breath and harried- which was fine for her purpose, anyway, so she ignored the confused look of the teacher.

“May I borrow Gaden?” she said, already half-dragging him out of the classroom.

“Um, sure.” The teacher said.

They dashed down the hallway, Lars sprinting behind her, Gaden stumbling along, utterly confused.

“What’s going on?” He asked, eyes wide.

“We have a problem,” she said, in her most serious voice. “Don’t ask any questions, just come.”

“O-okay…” He said, hesitantly.

They turned a corner and – there, that room would be perfect. It was a large empty practice room, used when the main rooms overflowed.

She handed Gaden a sword, and then took one of her own.

“I’m sorry, Gaden,” she said, low and menacing.

She watched him blanch and felt a pang of guilt, both for making him this scared and for what she was almost positive would come next. Running through the halls, she had become increasingly convinced that she was right.

“Pay attention, Lars,” she hissed urgently, and then she rushed forward, sword swinging-

CLANG-

Gaden’s sword rushed up to meet hers, the shock reverberating up her arm as- the air around her cracked in a burst of sound as something… exploded. She felt the pain shoot up her arm, but Gaden-

Gaden lay whimpering in a huddle on the ground on the ground. He looked green. She knelt delicately by his side, grateful that she’d brought healing supplies just in case.

And as she turned to look at Lars, who was staring at the boy in shock, she knew that her hypothesis had been right.

---

“I thought to myself what had changed- and I couldn’t come up with anything- and then, I don’t know. For some reason it just hit me, that he had sort of jumped into it the first day but after that he was- holding back…”

“I just don’t understand it,” Lars said. “How could-“

“How could the school have missed something as obvious as this?” Rhen said. “I don’t get it either, I mean it’s only the only other subject this school teach-“

“No,” Lars said, cutting her off. “How could this be possible?”

“What do you mean?” Rhen said, momentarily bewildered.

“Look,” He said, gesturing with his hands. “Sorcery and Sword Singing aren’t just different techniques for harnessing energy. They are fundamental opposites-“

“I don’t follow,” Rhen said.

“When you sing a sword,” he said, “what do you do? You draw from the sword energy into yourself as you strike, right?”

“I didn’t really think about it, but… yeah? Isn’t that what sorcery is also, though?”

He shook his head. “No, no, it’s fundamentally different. A sorceror doesn’t draw power in- he draws power out. A swordsinger draws from the qualities of the sword she’s using and then amplifies it through herself, through the sword technique that she uses- that’s why so many spells depends on the sword being used, because that’s really the source of the magic. But a sorcerer draws the energy from himself, and then channels it outwards, so that it’s amplified by the object he’s using, like a staff.”

“It seems like semantics,” she said, hesitantly.

“Maybe the way I’m describing it isn’t making it clear enough,” he said. “It’s literally opposite forces, forcing yourself to close your hand while at the same time opening it, if you’re actually focusing on both properly your hand just freezes because it’s impossible. Except much, much harder! Because at least opening your hand is something easy… you have to focus on magic every time! Except you’d be focusing on two opposite things! I mean, it’s already impossible to focus on two spells at once, and that’s in a situation where they’re almost the same thing- this is just absurd! It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Btu when they tested him, shouldn’t they have-“

“I don’t know how they tested him,” Lars said, “but if I was testing him there’s no way I’d consider this as a possibility. I just saw it myself and I only barely believe it. I mean, it’s the most basic knowledge, everyone knows it. They tell us from elementary school that it’s impossible. It’s a fact, like gravity or the law of inverse magics or…”

“Forgive me for not coming from Veldaran elementary school,” Rhen huffed.

“Don’t you see?” He said, turning towards her. “It’s great that you didn’t. That’s the only reason you were able to figure this out! It’s just...”

“Now what?” Rhen said, as they both looked at Gaden’s prone figure.

---

“I guess we’re going to have to work on this together,” she said, as they walked down the hallway.

“What?” He said.

“Well, obviously,” she said. “He has sorcery mixed in with his swordsinging, doesn’t he? I’m not qualified to deal with the sorcery, only the swordsinging. And I don’t want anyone else involved, not until we’ve figured this out, if it really is as impossible as you say. And…”

She hesitated. Well, he had already done the same for her today, so she might as well return the compliment.

“And you’re the best sorcerer I know,” she said, softly.

There was a pause.

“Why thank you,” he said, loftily.

She smiled at that- typical Lars- but turned away so he wouldn’t see, which meant, in return, that she didn’t see him either.

Which was good, because she probably would have worried had she noticed how he looked like he’d just been barreled into by a stormbird.

---

(I just want to say that this monstrosity is 85 pages in microsoft word. I'm that close to 100. Yeah.)

I like the way you explain the concept of sorcery and swordsinging. Is it actually explained in the game though? Or is it something you came up with?

YAY! update <3 <3 <3 Great job! Awww look at them complementing each other XD AND gaden is making thing very interesting =D I'm looking forward to an update soon! (Duh...XD)

@daeva_agas: Nope, I made it up myself. If there is anything at all I based it on, it would be that one line where the teacher's from the school said they had never seen a swordsinger draw power from a stick before? Or something like that? Which is to say I tried to make it fit the set-up within the game but nonetheless I made it up.

wow! yay! amazing! wonderful! lovely! ^^ keep up the G.R.E.A.T work!

Wow. You sure came up with awesome stuff. Not sure what i came up with for my daevas are actually good.. They're kinda overly cliched TT.TT I hate cliches but what i make always turn out to be a cliche some way or another. GAH!!!

Wow! Thats all really good, not, great, INCREDIBLE stuff here, wow, lol
but i meant that! I was really enjoying Rhen and Lars new life...
Good job!

go Blurble! your stories are the best!

@sana96: Well, they saved the world together, they've had ample time to come to realize and respect each other's skills. I just don't think they necessarily ever told each other and therefore don;t think they necessarily knew that they both respect each other now. Or maybe they did, but it means something more if they actually say it out loud.

Thanks, aveyondstars, shadowshed, sandstorm. (whenever my muse dies I go show it all the compliments I get just to make it get to work again =D thanks so much)

If they had fallen into a habit of hanging out in the library together, it had now become official. They ate lunch together now, and talked as they ate, brainstorming. Rhen was preparing how to broach the subject with Master Harald, who would obviously need to be told as soon as possible. Not to mention that he out of everyone was most likely to know something useful about dealing with this and whether something similar had ever happened before-

“It hasn’t,” Lars had said flatly, “trust me. I know.”

Which had led into a conversation about Lars’s childhood hobby of reading every single book ever written about sorcery.

“I didn’t think you were the bookish sort,” Rhen had said.

“Oh please,” he scoffed, “it’s sword-singers who are the jocks of the magic world, running around swinging their swords. Sorcerors actually have to, you know, think.”

Which was unfair and entirely besides the point, seeing as that didn’t have anything to do with why Lars had memorized the Encyclopaediea Sorceriae by the time he was nine.

“You’re a freak,” Rhen said.

“No, I just… really wanted to become a sorcerer,” Lars mumbled. For some reason he looked downcast.

“Well, lucky you, then!” Rhen said, clapping him on the back. “When I was young, I wanted to be a ferryman.”

“That’s a… special dream,” Lars said, carefully.

Rhen grinned. “I know. But I wanted to see the world- little kids weren’t allowed out of the village, you know, so of course we all desperately wanted to leave- and I didn’t know of that many professions besides farming, and sheep herding, and farming, and selling stuff, and farming… But all of my dad’s bedtime stories had ferrymen in them. I thought they were glamorous…”

She trailed off.

Ferrymen only ever went back and forth, and when she grew up she realized how boring it probably got, how quickly the excitement must fade away.

“There ended up being other ways to get to see the world,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said, quietly, and when she looked at him askance- because he was being a bit weird- he laughed it off and the conversation moved on, to the colors of frogs and eventually back to Gaden.

---

“Master Harald,” she said.

“Why Rhen,” he said distractedly, looking a bit surprised. “It’s nice to see you here. How have you been managing? I know I had a memo here- somewhere- about something I needed to tell you… Oh right! The Ball! Rhen, the Empress will be holding a ball soon, a very important event. If you really want to aim seriously for being High Swordsinger you-”

“I know.” she said, cutting him off. And then, realizing she had cut him off, she flushed. “It’s about G-Gaden,” she stuttered.

“Oh?” he said, raising an eyebrow. Then, noticing her still standing there, he gestured for her to come in.

“I think I figured out why he tests all weird. It’s just… I think it might sound crazy. And it’s not like it happens consistently so I could prove it to you, I think because most of the time he just holds himself back and inhibits it.”

“If you could simply tell me what this notion of yours is so that I might decide for myself?” Master Harald suggested, upping the ante by raising both eyebrows.

“When he gets very worked up he uses sorcery while swordsinging and then everything explodes, so the rest of the time he holds himself back from using anything at all which is why he’s so awful even though he has real talent because he’s not actually using it because he’s scared,” she said, in a rush.

Master Harald took a deep breath and sat down.

Rhen took a deep breath as well.

“Um.” she said.

“You feel confident in this theory of yours.” He said it like a statement but it was clearly a question.

She swallowed. “I tested it. Sir.”

“That must have been dangerous, especially for the student.”

She hung her head.

“It’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard,” he said, flexing his fingers.

“I gathered, based on what Lars told me about swordsinging and sorcery and stuff.”

“I’m inclined to dismiss it as preposterous,” he said, “but… you seem sane. And I have reasons for trusting your opinion on such things, which is partially why I gave you this job in the first place. And… And in a very strange illogical way it makes perfect sense.”

“That’s what I thought,” she said.

“I’ll have him taken in for evaluations, again. Only this time I think I shall perform the myself.” He mused, thoughtfully, half to himself. He looked up and saw Rhen still there, waiting.

“Well?” He demanded. “Don’t you have classes to teach?”

“Er,” she said, and turned to leave.

“Wait,” he said.

She turned.

He smiled at her. “I knew I gave you this position for a reason,” he said. “Good job.”

----

“And then he smiled! Like, really, actually, seriously smiled! I didn’t even know he could do that! Did you?!?”

Lars paused, wrinkling his brow as he tried to imagine it. It was utterly impossible.

“Are you sure you didn’t imagine it?” He said, again.

“I pinched myself just to make sure.”

“Huh.” he said. There was little else that could possibly be said.

“Anyway, Gaden is going in for testing this afternoon- Master Harald wanted it done as soon as possible- and then if it turns out I was right we’ll need to figure out how to teach him sorcery…”

“Mmm.” Lars said. “How long do we have to wait to find out?”

“…This evening, I guess. Something like that. Do you want to eat dinner with me to discuss it with me once we get the results?”

-----

Rhen’s appetite had not changed.

“And then the orange duck, please.”

“Er. A whole one?” The waiter said, desperately but without much hope.

“Well, yes,” she said. “That is what it says on the menu.”

The waiter looked beseechingly at Lars, his expression clearly conveying that he was hoping Lars would point out the small print next to the particular entry that said “Serves 4-6 people”.

But Lars had been down this road before and knew better.

“And the Raspberry Sorbet Swizzle. And some Buttered Toast…” Rhen continued.

Because this time Lars was not in a state of confusion, trying to comfort Rhen, and because this time there relationship was already somewhere different even if he still wasn’t sure where that was, he didn’t bother to swallow his acerbic comment once the waiter left.

“You’re like a bottomless pit,” he said. “I lose my appetite watching you wolf things down.”

And because this time Rhen was not feeling insecure and miserable, she just grinned.

“Why, thank you, Monsieur Lars,” she said.

“Are you sure you can afford to eat like this?” He said.

“Rarely,” she said. “But I thought you were paying.” She grinned cheekily at him.

“Um.” He said. “You seem to be under a mistaken impression. I come from a very small, rural noble family, I do not actually have money sprouting out of me whenever I sneeze.”

“Um,” she said, mimicking him. “Yes you do. Especially because you still have your share of the small fortune we made adventuring around the world, whereas I left that all in Thais.”

“You ran away from Dameon?” he said. Because by this point he knew, but he just wanted to hear it be sure.

“Yes,” she said.

“You never actually got around to telling me that,” he said. “For the first week I thought you were here on your honeymoon and I didn’t understand where your husband was. Then eventually I sort of pieced it together.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “But when we met you were laughing at me and I got annoyed and then I…” She sighed. “It’s so complicated, isn’t it?”

The waiter arrived, white-faced beneath the weight of the enormous stack of plates he was carefully balancing. Lars was going to have to leave a huge tip, wasn’t he. Oh well.

“I thought you really loved him,” he said, carefully.

“I thought so too,” she said. “Then he turned out to be working for Ahriman! Did everyone but me forget that? I felt so betrayed, and I just- I don’t understand why everyone assumed I would be okay with that, as if nothing had happened! Or why everyone assumed I would make a good queen! Or why everyone assumed that-“ She broke off.

“But I did love him,” she said softly. “I thought I would just leave and it would be over but I keep feeling guilty about it. Because he really, really loved me. I think. I’m not sure. I’m not sure the one he loved was me. I’m not sure that I was me, and that makes no sense and we should probably talk about something else now.”

“Okay,” he said, as Rhen furiously stabbed a piece of meat with her fork. “Let’s talk about Gaden.”

“That was what we came here for, wasn’t it?” she said, with obvious relief.

“There’s something we should start immediately,” Lars said. “It might help a great deal and certainly won’t do any harm, and that’s focus exercises. Any sorcery student does them, but for him they’ll maybe serve the dual function of also helping him get it under his control. In fact, he might benefit from a meditation class, as well.”

“I’ve been re-reading basic sword-singing books,” she said. “Looking for the general underlying techniques. I want to help him develop a style that will give him leeway to use sorcery. He’s not a sorcerer- the results were clear, he’s definitely a swordsinger- but he has this sorcery in him nonetheless and unless it has an outlet, well, we already know what happens then.”

“Actually, I was thinking…”

---

The moon was already high in the sky by the time they left. The lamps along the streets had been lit, and glowed soft yellow.

“About the ball.” He said, abruptly. “Do you need me to escort you there?”

Want, he had meant to say.

“Oh no, it’s fine, don’t bother. I’ll go with Neya, so we can help each other get dressed. Neya works in the office, you probably know her-“

“Oh yes, I remember her.” he said. “Well then. Glad that’s taken care of. You’re all set for the ball then, right? Prepared for it and everything? Because it’s important, I mean, to make a positive impression.” He stopped, panicked by a sudden thought. “You do know how to dance, don’t you?”

At that she laughed at him, right in his face, laughed so hard her knees buckled.

“Lars, you’re talking to a swordsinger, what kind of question is that?”

“Well, there’s a difference between dances that you use to kill someone and dances you do for socializing. I mean, I hope there is.”

“Maybe,” she said, “but they’re similar enough. I learn fast.”

“But you’re sure?”

“Neya asked me to practice with her, so yes, I’m sure. Absolutely positive.” She was still laughing at him, as she took his hand and put it on her waist and then put her hand on his shoulder. Suddenly it was silent, except for his heart beating like cannonshots, and she whirled around and his arms and legs went instinctively with her, following her steps so that they moved together step-turn-step-

“There, see?” She said. “I know this stuff, it’s practically my specialty. Well, more like a side-point to my specialty but close enough. I’m an expert…” She trailed off.

For a moment they stood there awkwardly in the soft night air. Somewhere, it smelled like perfume and desert flowers. And now was when he should probably say something but he couldn’t, couldn’t get the air in to form words.

Instead he took a step back. She did the same, so that now there was a gap between them, and still the awkward silence hung there and his throat was dry as ash.

“Okay, so you can dance.” He said, with a light laugh. He barely choked on it at all and he rather hoped that she didn’t notice.

“We should be going now,” she said, fidgeting.

“Right,” he said.

Feh. Author's note getting deleted almost as soon as it's up.
fgdfgdf

Well, once I have this post lying around anyway, I just want to make something clear because i'm constantly paranoid that it's not obvious in the story.

*deep breath*
TIME IS PASSING.
IN THE BACKGROUND IT KEEPS GOING.
that's all.

---

in other news, my characters keep deciding to do things without telling me in advance. They need to stop doing that. I did not know about Rhen and Lars's little mini-dance in the middle of the night until it suddenly happened and Rhen has a tendency to do things like that to me and glkgjlksfjg.