This is a clean story

Mildly evil violence towards the end

the beginning is slightly dull but it gets better.


Hope you like it!

Part 1
Ending a black heart


We walked into Ahriman’s Lair. There he stood, but to our surprise Dameon walked over and joined Ahriman!
“Sorry, Rhen, Ha! And the rest of you creeps!” Dameon sneered.

“Dameon! No! You tricked us! Don’t you see he is evil! He doesn’t need you! Lars quick the fairy dust!” Rhen cried. I tossed Rhen the bag of fairy dust, I didn’t really want Dameon to live and take Rhen. Well one because he is Dameon the stupid, lame, ugly... I could go on. Rhen poured the dust over Dameon’s head, but nothing happened.

“Ha! Fools! You think some stupid truth dust will cure me! I knew that Ahriman was evil that’s why a joined him! You see, I wanted to be evil, they always said my mother was so good and perfect, well when she killed my father, I didn’t want anything to do with her. If she was good I wanted to be evil, if she was perfect I wanted to be imperfect! Ahriman gave me what I wanted! But I still want one more thing!” Dameon shouted. “I want, the blue haired human.” He finished. Huh, did he forget her name... was that a pause...

So then began the battle. Mad Marge and Galahad were already down on the ground, Te’ijal tried to drain Ahriman, but Ahriman cut a song slit down her back, and she too fell to the ground. Pirate John was whacking at Ahriman like a mad man... well he already was a mad man, so I’ll have to say he was attacking like a really insane mad man.

But with a push of Ahriman’s hand he through Pirate John, and the poor mad man laid knocked out on the floor. We were loosing fast. Elini was hitting Dameon with all her magic, but she used all here mana and crumpled on the floor.

It was just Rhen and I now; Rhen was a blur as she did amazing fighting maneuvers that no one would ever think possible. Ahriman did not seem impressed with Rhen’s effort; he was battling her and deflecting my spells that I was throwing at him at the same time. I was now down on the ground almost out cold, Rhen had backed up, I didn’t know why; this was not the Rhen I knew. She never backed out of a battle. What was wrong? Then she dropped the sword of shadows! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! Then I heard words, and they were coming from Ahriman.

“Rhen Darzon, Rhen Darzon, Come to me, Rhen Darzon, Rhen Darzon, you can have all the power, Rhen Darzon, Rhen Darzon, Come to me, Be immortal, just like me. Rhen Darzon, Rhen Darzon, Come to me, and travel through darkness for eternity. Rhen Darzon, Rhen Darzon, Come to me.” This couldn’t be happening, I turned my head and saw Rhen walking slowly towards the evil, dark, Ahriman. Then I remembered, there was one single flaw with what Ahriman had said. I looked at the sword of shadows. So with the last bit of strength that I had in me, I grabbed the sword of Shadows, got up and charged,
“Stop!” I screamed, ok maybe not the most memorable or finalising word but still. And I plunged the sword of shadows into Ahriman’s Heart. He fell to the floor and where I had stabbed him with the sword black smoke was coming out. Rhen was released from the spell that had been on her and she started to fall to the ground. Just before she passed out she herd me say “you'r quest if over... Rhen."

its a really great story, and i really like the "pirate john was already a madman" part

but theres a a suggestions i would advise you to take:

its a bit hard to read in its current state. if you make it into paragraphs, then it would be alot easier to read, believe me, i should know.

other than that and a few common spelling and grammar problems, the story is very enjoyable!

love the rhen/lars pairing and your idea of fairy dust not working and dameon staying evil is absolutely wonderful (as you might have guessed, i am a determined rhen/lars fan and dameon hater )

thanks, I hate dameon too. And I'll put it in paragraphs.

ur welcome

The story:
part two

We managed to get to a hotel. Galahad, Pirate John, Mad Marge and I carried everyone else. I hated to see blood on my friends. Rhen had a nasty gash on her shoulder, a long cut on her leg, and a scratch on her cheek, I could go on. She had gone into a coma, she just had to wake up, she had to speak to the oracle.. I wasn't going to do it FOR her... thats just not Me. I dont DO things for people.

Elini had a broken leg, and had almost died from lack of blood, Pirate John was sick with worry. Te’ijal still couldn’t move; the cut on her back was bleeding something fierce, and she was in far too much pain to do anything.

We got everyone bandaged, and while they either laid in bed or talked about what had happened and what they would do next, I sat on the side of Rhen’s bed waiting for her to wake up. I herd all the others laugh, I looked over they were talking about what Mad Marge would do when she got back to her island. I couldn’t see how they could laugh while Rhen was dead to the world, probably going to make ME speak to the old lady that ordered us around. Everyone eventually went to his or her own beds, so I did the same.

Everyone was finally awake I had been awake for hours; I took a shower, ate breakfast, and got ready for the journey ahead. Everyone was eating breakfast in the other room, so I decided to watch Rhen. If she didn't waik up id pour water on her when she woke up i'd give her a long speach about how I would have had to Speak to the old lady!
I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at Rhen’s scratched face. Then her eyes fluttered open.

“ Rhen! Your alive!” I said excitedly
“ Lars? Is that you?... everything is so blurry... what happened. All I remember is you saying that I was... Finished?”
“Oh Rhen, I was so worried!” a little caugh here, yes I was worried... no not about her life...

Then I told her all that had happened. She started to cry at the end of it. I hate it when people cry they always look so... pink.

But retelling the story reminded me of something, Dameon wasn’t dead.

Nice story I'm looking forward to the rest!

THANKS!



.the next part will come out tonight

Death of misery:
part 3


the next part will come out tomorrow! hope you like it!

The next day we started off for the sun shrine to decide our fates. Everyone had decided what they would do except for Rhen and I.
Mad Marge was going to go and do the dishes for the squirrel army, and hopefully get enough corn to last all her retirement years where she would be a coconut farmer.
Elini and Pirate John were going to go on their ten week trip around the world buying foreign fruits and puppies to sell for lots of money at their home town, then when they ran out they would go and collect eggs from all over the world and start an egg collectors club.
Poor Galahad really didn’t have an option; Te’ijal was taking him to the underworld after a week’s trip to Brumwitch for a great time terrorizing the citizens.

The trip was going great, we were occupied by Mad Marge talking about how good her coconuts would taste and how people would come from all over the world to get a taste. It sounded ridicules but it was entertaining. I was very upset and was the only one being gloomy, after we chose our fates I would probably leave and all the others and go live a life of digging myself an under ground home. I’d keep all my magical artifacts in the under ground home, then I’d leave a message on the door that said I was either gone or dead. I’d then go and travel and have more adventures, then eventually I’d die all alone, no would know or care.

We reached the ship and sailed to the northern isle. It was so cold there, Rhen was shivering so I let her use my extra cloak that I had on the ship, nice of me I Know, but what the hey once wont hurt. We all walked as fast as we could all the way to Aveyond. Everyone felt better then.

We stopped by teacup town to say hello to our mini friends that resembled cats, and of course we talked to the bini that always comments on how tall we are. I’ll miss those tiny binis. Though I always could come and live with them, that beats living in the ground and dieing out of misery. I’m also thinking of putting slime and stuff in bottles and going to new witch wood as a traveling sales man.

We reached the Sun shrine and by then I was ready to cry. I couldn’t live this way! I had to have adventure.
So we entered the shrine ready to end the adventure forever.

very good! can't wait for tomorrow to read the next one, keep writing!!

how is everyone liking it so far? should I keep going?

Of course you should! It's really good

I'll try...

I finnished the next part early so enjoy it tonight instead of tomorrow!

The End? or maybe not...
part 4



We walked over to the oracle and greeted her. “Hello, oracle, we have done what you have asked Ahriman is dead and the world is free from him.” Rhen said, I thought it sounded just right, as it wouldn't if I were speaking and RHen was being dead and dragged behind us. Though somehow it made me feel even worse.
Everyone suddenly was a burst of brightness, they were all so excited about what they were going to do next.
“We are ready to choose our fates now.” Rhen commented.
“ummm, yes, well you see there has been some slight difficulties I’m afraid. You see there’s been news that there’s a half bald guy with a long goatee running around stealing important artifacts from witches in New Witchwood and vampires in Ged’ahre. They are getting really mad and are preparing for battle, they think that Dameon is working for us and is giving us the items that he stole. So your story doesn’t end here, you see I need you all to go and kill Dameon, retrieve the stolen items and bring them to their owners. Ummm, I’m so sorry it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to.” The oracle said.

By now everyone but Rhen and I were staring angrily, or had their mouths slightly open in surprise, but as for Rhen and I we were smiling. I was so happy that I hugged Rhen and spun around and around, I will NEVER do that again... so stubid and lame of me. Rhen was dizzy when it was all over and when I let go of her she fell to the ground, but she was laughing and smiling. I just couldn’t wait to get started.

Rhen and I ran. We couldn’t believe our luck! We rolled down a hill and tried to catch our breath at the bottom, we had pieces of grass all over us, but we didn’t care. We finally sat up, and looked at each other. “Your a mess!” Rhen said between giggles, “Well you are too!” I tried saying while laughing. Then we both fell back and looked at the bright blue sky.

The Beginning of a new adventure.

Hi people hope you like this part!


Back
Part 5


Rhen and I skipped back to the sun shrine, there we saw Te’ijal looking very ready to suck the oracles blood, and Mad Marge chewing the oracle our about everything! When we entered everyone turned to look at us. No one could believe that we wanted to go on this adventure; they couldn’t believe that their futures had just been ruined by two teens.

The oracle finally broke the silence “well off you go then! Have a great time!” and she disappeared.

Rhen whispered into my ear. “Lars, lets go roll down a hill or something, I don’t think are presence is wanted here right now.” And with that we turned around and ran out the door.

We were almost by teacup town when Rhen collapsed, her face turned white, and her eyes were shut. It started to rain and the sky became dark, the same sky that was a blue as Rhen’s eyes a few minutes ago. I knelt next to her and took off my cloak, I picked her up and put the cloak on her, making sure the hood was up, then I carried her all the way to torn keep inn where I collapsed on the floor. Ok also not like LARS... Me. But I just can't let her die like that... It would be un human, sort of like a real Vampire.

I woke up to see a kind old lady looking at me, I was in a bed, and I could see Rhen in the bed next to mine, she was still as white as snow, her eyes still shut. I sat up; I saw that my cloak was still on Rhen she looked amazing in it. Forget I just thought that.

The lady left and I got up and sat on Rhen’s bed, I waited, trying to reach a consciousness inside of her mind. After hours of staring I eventually fell asleep and someone carried my back to my own bead. When I woke up the whole group was there Elini was explaining to Rhen what had happened. It turned out that when they couldn’t find us they looked into an orb that one of the binis had, they had seen everything from the part where Rhen fell, to when I fell asleep watching Rhen.

Just as they finished, Rhen looked over at me and smiled, the others left and Rhen came over to me and huged me girls are SO... weird.
“Thank you Lars, you see Dameon contacted me, and told me that he was coming after me, then he put me into a coma. I would have died if it weren’t for you Lars.” Then she gave me ANOTHER hug “Oh and I believe this is yours.” And she handed me my cloak. Inside the cloak there was a letter and it said: I think Dameon not only has half of his hair but half of his brain. Don’t be intimidated by him.

And with that I fell asleep.

haha that is hilarious Avey!! When will the next one come out? BTW, part five was a bit confusing, I had to piece everything together at the end....but I STILL LOVE IT!

Thanks!


Pain through heart
Part 6


I was still asleep in the thorn keep inn, Rhen was watching me and drinking hot coco. Everyone else was downstairs having dinner. I was having a pleasant dream about dancing at a ball with Rhen; she had a lovely gown on. It was midnight blue there were shoulder sleeves that were black. Her face was pale, and her eyes seemed to sparkle as we danced across the floor. SO stupid of me! But I can't control what I dream! Just then I was interrupted from my dream and was confronted with the ugly face of Dameon. It was amazing how he is so ugly and Rhen use to like him!

“Lars! You are so stupid! I told you to stay away from Rhen! If you don’t ill have to be... well lets just say, unpleasant.” Dameon said

“I don't know what you'r talking about” I couldn’t believe that he believed that his stupid warnings would help!

“Lars, I don’t want to hurt you, actually, I lied! I do want to hurt you Lars! Shes mine! When I get her we will rule the world together, and you will be, well more or less, dead! Ha!” Dameon sneered, he really doesn’t know how to do a good sneer, maybe I should teach him sometime. I’ve perfected the art of sneering.

“I don't know what you'r talking about!” I was about ready to cry by now.

“Oh, I will get her Lars, I will! Remember stay away or ill hurt you in what ever way I can!” A sudden image of all my friends laying dead on the ground and Dameon holding Rhen by the arm as she struggled to come to me.

“Goodbye for now Lars! I will be back!” and with that Dameon was gone.

I opened my eyes, and saw Rhen looking down at me, I herd her say “Oh good you’re awake!” I looked into her eyes they were so beautiful! OK so now I know what he was talking about. They held so much, Love, pain, and hate, sadness, joy, hope, distress, and fear. You could get lost in those eyes; I was lost in them right now. Staring into them was the most pleasant thing I have ever done. What is WRONG with me!

A sudden pain went through my head I winced and shut my eyes, I shook my head, rubbed my forehead, it was so painful it felt like someone was ripping all my thoughts out and shredding all emotions for a minute I was wondering if i was dead, the pain stopped, but no thought of Rhen’s eyes was in my head anymore. I could be still in there I just wasn’t thinking of them.

Everything sounded so distant, but it was there, a voice, not just any voice, but Rhen’s voice “Lars? Are you ok? Lars wake up! Lars?! Don’t leave me Lars! You have to live! Breathe! Laarrss!” she was sobbing by now, and I suddenly remembered that I should breathe after all it had been twenty seconds. So I took a deep breath of air. It was fallowed by a relived sounding Rhen “Lars! Your alive!” like, Duh!

heres another short one! enjoy!


The chase begins
Part 7


We left early the next morning. Mad Marge was still pouting about not getting what she wanted. I suppose she was a real brat as a kid. In fact just then she started on the story of her childhood.

“My mother was an old hag, she came from new witch wood she married my father who was a bar tender, when I was born my mother wanted to name me Maggot and my father had always loved the name Marge so they had a big argument and went to an old friend Hermi. He told them that if they couldn’t agree that they should mix the two names together, so they tried: Maggot Arg, Ot Marge, Mag Ar, and finally came up with Mad Marge. I always hated the name; I asked if I could change it, my mother said if I did she’d turn my father in to a platypus, my fother said he’d lock my mother in a cage and never let her out. So I kept my name, soon after my brother was born, this time my mother wanted to name him Wortie, and my father wanted to name him Bert. So again they mixed them together: Tie Bert, Wor Ber, Ert Ort, and Ortie B, but decided on Wort Ert. I went to school and got at least c’s in all my subjects, my brother got b’s so he went and studied to be a witch, he had gotten all the powers, I had gotten left with a bunch of brown curly hair, he had black wavy hair with ice blue eyes. Life was just so unfair., so I grew up doing all the bar tending work. And here I am now.” She finished with a sigh and went on about her coconut and how she would get the oracle back.

We stopped by the bini village to try and find Dameon, we couldn’t find him in the orb so we thanked the kind bini and left to search the world for Dameon. All we knew was we were being fallowed by something or someone.

I have writers block and need a cure!

yaknow avey, I can just hear hiccup saying this, but in her Albuquerque voice...ohmagosh! ROFL!

Hiccup: what albuquerque voice? Saying what?