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Re: Parent issues - need help! #41
Offline   Mopiece
  Dragon Lords
gold   5458 Gold
Level : 53
EXP : 9
HP : 520 / 1302
MP : 1810 / 24599
@Pink

You're missing the point of it can make things worse. Say he goes to the authorities and they cant' remove Klaus or his brother right away. So what then? He has to stay with his father, who now knows that Klaus went to the authorities. And that is not going to make the situation any better.

Posted on: 2010/10/28 22:11
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Re: Parent issues - need help! #42
Offline   theone
  Witches and Warlocks
gold   2417 Gold
Level : 39
EXP : 25
HP : 191 / 956
MP : 780 / 15005
Exactly Mopiece. If his dad finds out, he could put Klaus away somewhere, intensify the beatings, etc.

Posted on: 2010/10/29 1:46
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Re: Parent issues - need help! #43
Offline   Bloom21
  Amaranthian
gold   143 Gold
Level : 6
EXP : 89
HP : 0 / 147
MP : 21 / 2041
Umm.. Sorry for the interruption again... but he/she can tell the authorities that his/her dad would become violent if again he/she stays with him and he/she needs protection for him/herself and for the family members whom he/she wants to protect..

It did work for me though.. I was at least able to save my mom who was almost dead... and also my dad got a warrant at once and taken into custody for a night and he was taken to a psychiatrist for therapy with a warning against even trying lay a finger on us ..

@Klaus: Sorry dont get me wrong or anything cause I know exactly how it is to be in your situation... believe it... From my side both my parents were rash... but... how exactly does your mom support your dad?? I mean If she does know the situation about your dad's temper tantrums then what does she say to support him when you complain or tell her?? Like example from your chair throwing scenario??

Also how sure are you that you can get your aunt kicked out and have your dad be calm about it?? I dont mean to discourage you or anything but plz try to analyze the situation from your dad's or aunt's point of view... cause sometimes what we plan can backfire on us so badly that we cant think of anything else... So try to have 2 or 3 options open for yourself... Like.. bring the What ifs to your plan and the replan it properly.. Plz...

Seeing your dedication to your family is really heart touching... but plz consider what you do might bring havoc or happiness basing on how well you have planned everything out.. given you dont want to take help from any kind of authorities

Posted on: 2010/10/29 8:38


Re: Parent issues - need help! #44
Offline   SkylerWXG
  Druids
gold   1312 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 26
HP : 151 / 756
MP : 435 / 10906
OK,that are few of the points,but let's look to another site.I do this,right?But what happens after?Me and my brother become orphans,and trust me,you don't want to live in an orphanage here.

Secondly,even if they do this and that,I asked for a way to calm things down a bit,something to make him less angry,and doing it without his notice.

Three,so,even if my parents are so horrible at times,and I agree,but what if they were different?Like the ones which put their children as beggars at all the street corners,or the mothers which just throw their babies away or let them in hospital?This isn't right!

Even so,they still are my parents,and always be,and can do nothing about it.I try to find a way to stop all this madness and wake them up to reality,but how?

Posted on: 2010/10/29 10:45


Re: Parent issues - need help! #45
Offline   Ashen_Eclipse
  Witches and Warlocks
gold   1050 Gold
Level : 27
EXP : 32
HP : 0 / 658
MP : 314 / 10326
I still think you need to go to the authorities. Is it possible to get legally emancipated where you live?
:.:.:
As for just trying to calm the situation down, the best I can suggest is stay out of his way. Talk to him when he talks to you, but not really any other time. Don't talk back, don't get visibly angry. Don't let him get emotional responses out of you. (You also can't go and punch walls. Sorry)

Be -very- polite and civil to him. For example, say he comes in again and pulls your chair out from under you again. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, push your chair back in place. Look at him and ask, very politely, 'Yes? May I help you?'. STAY CALM. If he continues to rage at you, wait for a moment, then say politely 'I'm sorry you feel that way. But, if you'll excuse me, Father, I really do need to finish my homework.'

You cannot complain. You must be 'perfect'. Don't get in trouble at school. Do all your chores. Study and get the best grades you can.

It will be hard. It will hurt. Holding in your emotions can mess you up. But until you are ready to go to the authorities or otherwise get out, this is the best advice I can offer.

Posted on: 2010/10/29 15:03
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Re: Parent issues - need help! #46
Offline   SkylerWXG
  Druids
gold   1312 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 26
HP : 151 / 756
MP : 435 / 10906
Ashen,I don't think I could ask for a better advice for the moment.I attempted this out,even forcing myself to smile,and it went somewhat better this time,without him throwing stuff around the house.I will try this out.I hope this will work for a long period of time.I am also open to other suggestion,if there are other.

Posted on: 2010/10/30 2:42


Re: Parent issues - need help! #47
Offline   shadowshed
  The Brotherhood
gold   1313 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 13
HP : 150 / 753
MP : 431 / 9951
@klaus: i really can't get your point in your last second post(#44).
You don't want to be an orphan? But you said that you're going to leave and live your freedom, which means you WON'T have any contacts to any of your FAMILY(except your bro) and i'd say you're being an orphan out of scenery.

Sorry for asking out of blue, but what's your purpose? Leaving, or change your pa, or what?

Posted on: 2010/10/30 8:29


Re: Parent issues - need help! #48
Offline   SkylerWXG
  Druids
gold   1312 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 26
HP : 151 / 756
MP : 435 / 10906
On the moment,change my father.Once I am able,trust me,I will do any possibility to break my bonds with the family.And breaking bonds with family doesn't mean orphan.

Posted on: 2010/10/30 8:39


Re: Parent issues - need help! #49
Offline   shadowshed
  The Brotherhood
gold   1313 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 13
HP : 150 / 753
MP : 431 / 9951
@klaus:
so, do you want to change him first into a good pa, then leave for your freedom(without your bro, since *if* he had changed)?

Breaking bonds: you won't have any bonds with any of family anymore. Doesn't it meant that you're an orphan indirectly?

Posted on: 2010/10/30 9:23


Re: Parent issues - need help! #50
Offline   SkylerWXG
  Druids
gold   1312 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 26
HP : 151 / 756
MP : 435 / 10906
Not quite.Bond for me means any ability to contact me.I don't think I will want to remember too much about this part of this life.

Posted on: 2010/10/30 9:40


Re: Parent issues - need help! #51
Offline   shadowshed
  The Brotherhood
gold   1313 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 13
HP : 150 / 753
MP : 431 / 9951
Seemed you ignored my lack of summary.
So, do your pa still beat you?

Posted on: 2010/10/30 10:53


Re: Parent issues - need help! #52
Offline   SkylerWXG
  Druids
gold   1312 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 26
HP : 151 / 756
MP : 435 / 10906
He does,but somewhat,this time I feel like he doesn't have a motive,because after Ashen said that,I tried it out,he wanted to slap me once,but he stopped before doing it.I think this will work out if I just shut up.

Posted on: 2010/10/30 11:03


Re: Parent issues - need help! #53
Offline   pinkjaguar12
  Druids
gold   1111 Gold
Level : 28
EXP : 39
HP : 136 / 684
MP : 344 / 10700
klaus, it still sounds like your father have a medical disease, which means you WONT be able to change him. why are you not willing to go to the authorities?

Posted on: 2010/10/30 16:46
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Re: Parent issues - need help! #54
Offline   Mopiece
  Dragon Lords
gold   5458 Gold
Level : 53
EXP : 9
HP : 520 / 1302
MP : 1810 / 24599
@Pink

He has already explained why he doesn't wish to go to the authorities at the moment.

Posted on: 2010/10/30 16:57
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Re: Parent issues - need help! #55
Offline   SkylerWXG
  Druids
gold   1312 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 26
HP : 151 / 756
MP : 435 / 10906
Trust me,he's healthy like a stone pillar.And there is no disease about him.I still pray to God to help me solve this,and slowly works out.

Posted on: 2010/10/31 3:46


Re: Parent issues - need help! #56
Offline   pinkjaguar12
  Druids
gold   1111 Gold
Level : 28
EXP : 39
HP : 136 / 684
MP : 344 / 10700
klaus, it is impossible to tell from the outside whether or not someone has a pyshcological diesease. research bipolar, i seriously think your dad might have it.

Posted on: 2010/10/31 12:15
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Re: Parent issues - need help! #57
Offline   SkylerWXG
  Druids
gold   1312 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 26
HP : 151 / 756
MP : 435 / 10906
He made all his researches before he got his latest job,which was 1 month ago,and he was all healthy,trust me.It has nothing to do with it,since he's like that since I knew him.

Posted on: 2010/10/31 12:18


Re: Parent issues - need help! #58
Offline   diamondmist
  Amaranthian
gold   882 Gold
Level : 24
EXP : 76
HP : 0 / 594
MP : 250 / 9439
Praying to God and waiting will get you far. I think that the best option is having a close friend, or a close, grown-up relative telling someone about your problem. It's a miracle he hasn't killed you yet...I'm twelve, I nearly cried at this...but please, if you ever, ever need help, you can PM me. I think your mother loves you, right? If she does, this post is based on that.
Regarding your problem, some parents are unstable. You should ask your mother, when exactly, did your father act like this? Why? Did you do something to offend him beyond belief? Or what? Your mother seems very nice, and she loves you a lot. I think you should find out what happened in the past that made your dad this way; at least what your mother knows. Then you could have some backup information.
Fighting for family is the best thing you could do in your life. You fight for your Grandmother, your Ma and your brother, correct? That makes them love you all the more. Your father does this partly to rile you up. Your words fuel his anger all the more. Be perfect in front of him. Be calm, don't talk back. Show him that outwardly, you don't care. He'll get uncertain.
You are just a teen. Your mother might be more mature about this situation; talk to her. She might provide you some hitherto idea which could help. Your brother is still young; he needs to be reassured. Try to talk to him, try to make his life easier; play with him and such. Don't think all is lost, that's the key. This may take a long while; to escape one's own family is hard. Some plan is there, waiting to be revealed, in your mind...just...wait. That's all. Plan your moves, think ten steps ahead. Life, sometimes, is a chess game. Sacrifices must be mad; sacrifice your room, house, money, but one objective is in your mind; escape living hell.
The final thing I can say is that God watches everything; he knows and will help in little ways. Until you're totally concrete in the belief that you're free, act calm, impassive, indifferent, polite, formal, and I need to stop looking at the thesaurus. Anyway...I guess I didn't help very much, but that's all the advice I can give.

Posted on: 2010/10/31 12:43
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My beginning and my end
Broken truth, whispering lies
And it hurts again


Re: Parent issues - need help! #59
Offline   pinkjaguar12
  Druids
gold   1111 Gold
Level : 28
EXP : 39
HP : 136 / 684
MP : 344 / 10700
diamondmist, i appreciate your wonderful prayer, but i don't think that God, if he even exists, truly helps and watches over everything. i won't get into this discussion, but klaus needs a lot more than just something to believe in to get him through this. he can't just sit around and do nothing while waiting for God to save him.

Posted on: 2010/10/31 14:52
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Re: Parent issues - need help! #60
Offline   SkylerWXG
  Druids
gold   1312 Gold
Level : 31
EXP : 26
HP : 151 / 756
MP : 435 / 10906
Sorry,Jaguar,but must contradict you.God exists,I know it.He helped me many times,he proved me He exists.I truly believe in him.

Posted on: 2010/10/31 15:00


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