Zombie Survival

To commemorate the Center for Disease Control (CDC) for posting their Zombie Survival Tips I offer the following life saving scenario planning:

Imagine this scene. You are working in a sporting goods store, which does not contain a hunting area, and are the last one inside on your way to lock the last door when... THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS. You have some time to prepare, but sitting around is unwise. You can see the Zombies shambling in your direction and further in town a fire has started and is heading your way.

What do you grab before leaving the safety of the store and entering the soon-to-be zombie infested wasteland? Give us your shopping list here:



And here's the CDC's important info on what to do during the zombie apocalypse.
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp

Words from The Fool:

Mad props to the CDC for being more creative than we normally give our governmental agencies credit for. Before you say, "But they spent our tax money writing this!" if you look closely the actual tips are the same for any disaster: Have a kit, have a meeting place, pick an evac route, and know the phone numbers of emergency contacts. Cleverly they disguised actual advice as something more entertaining to read than "What to do during a flash flood." No fooling.

At the very least I'd grab a baseball bat, one of the metal ones not the wooden ones. Then I'd get some good shoes to run in. After that, I'd just make a run for it and try to get to a better place.

No hunting supply area? What kind of sporting goods store is this? XD

Anyway. My list is as follows. (I looked on Dick's Sporting goods website, to figure out what would be in the store, and what wouldn't. ^^ I'm used to things having a hunting supplies.)

ZOMBIE SURVIVAL LIST:
~ BACKPACK- Need something to carry everything in.
~ SIX FUNCTION WHISTLE- (light, compass, magnifier, thermometer, signal mirror, and whistle) Or at least a flashlight and compass
~ "ASTRONAUT FOOD"
~ GRILL/BBQ SET- Mostly for the huge knifes that come in them. And the prong/fork thing. The rest doesn't matter.
~ WATER BOTTLE(S)- at least two
~ WATER FILTER/PURIFIER
~ MULTI-TOOL- The one with the pliers, screwdriver, mini saw, etc.
~ KNIFE(s)- Folding and fixed blade. At least two of each.
~ AXE- if it's a 'camp axe' it'll be light weight.
~ SHARPENER
~ FIRST AID KIT(S)
~ WIND UP EMERGENCY RADIO
~ WIND UP FLASHLIGHT
~ EMERGENCY BLANKET
~ Mace
~ TREKKING POLE- tie a knife to it, you have a makeshift spear.
~ BATTERIES
~ ROPE/STRING/FISHING LINE

I agree with Ashen. What kind of sporting goods store has no hunting section? I'd rather be in Cabella's. (Hunting/Camping Store. Many Knives, Guns, and Bows.)

- Backpack
- Golf Club (particularly a driver. Take that, zombies.)
- hockey Stick (I wouldn't feel quite Canadian without one. )
- Barbecue set (Knives.)
- Hockey Helmet, with Face guard (no getting at my brains, thank you.)
- Watch
- Compass
- Sunglasses (to look cool while I'm killing zombies)
- Water
- Water Filter
- Blanket/Car Emergency kit

What kind of sporting goods store has no hunting section? Lame ones. XD LL Bean doesn't sell guns (I don't think, haven't been to the big store in a long time) but they -do- sell bows and knifes.

Oooh, good idea with the hockey helmet. ^^

Knifes are in the 'camping section' too, but you aren't going to get a big/awesome/sharp one like you would in hunting.

I know. I love looking through the Cabella's flyers. Some of the knives are rainbow coloured. Pretty, but kind of conspicuous, if you ask me.

Maybe if this was winter, we should bring skates. I think that inflatable rafts are a must, too. You can use 'em like a slide or like a raft.

Rainbow knife? Sounds flashy. Maybe the zombies are ADD- we can use the pretty to distract them!

Hmm, an inflatable raft would be good... Can zombies swim? If they can't, I'll just go to an island in a middle of a river. Or be constantly traveling on the river.

Also, sporting goods store- how about swiping a bike, too? Or a skateboard, or something that will make you faster then running, at least for a while. Moving on foot would be best, but using something to escape that first wave of zombies is a good idea.

Also, an extra pair of boots/sneakers might be good. Not for the running away part- new shoes would make your feet blister and slow you down- but if you have a bunker or safe house? New shoes would be good then.

I think it would depend on how you define zombies. By most authors, the answer is no, zombies can not swim.

lol, i was just fiddling with a real human brain on Tuesday. It's pretty heavy and feels squishy. Not as squishy as your lungs though.

Oh, and anyone play The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned? Gotta get 400 brains in all with headshots :3

Imo, a good assault rifle/smg/shotgun/rocket launcher/pistol does the job wonderfully. (mass effect + borderlands info)

Though if you run out of bullets, a fire axe + some craziness works also (vamp masquerade woot!) X3

The CDC made a Zombie Survival kit? That's funny.. Sure they haven't mistakenly genetically altered something and accidently made zombies. That sounds mad and I'm joking.


List
(No guns in a sports store? Are we in an infant store or something)
1. Base ball bat
2. Water
3. Energy Drinks
4. Bag
5. Torch
6. Skinning knife (Come on, every store has one of these)
7. Boxing gloves

Good call with the hockey helmet! I was going to say a skateboarding/biking helmet, but the added face guard on a hockey/lacrosse helmet would definitely help to prevent zombies from nomming on my nose.

I'd also add elbow/knee/wrist pads, shin guards, and maybe shoulder pads; anything that would work like armor yet not impede your running ability.



...an inflatable raft? You plan on dragging it around when you are not near water?

@arggie: can't you fold/deflate the raft back up? Oo?

Yeah but carrying it around is still a pain

I'm sure not quickly and easily. You can never get all the air out of inflatable things, so it never folds up nicely ever again.

Look, I'm sorry you took a job in a LAME sporting goods store, but that's the way it is! Stop complaining about it and get on with your survival

And yeah, a raft is pretty freakin' heavy. Then again, you only really need to use it once to sail to some uninhabited nearby island. After that you can just park the thing and wait out the plague... till you run out of food. Doesnt work if you live somewhere without islands.

Zombies...don't...exist....

But if that did happen, I'd grab a flamethrower! If the store didn't have that, I wouldn't leave the store. I'd pick up the phone and call the military, the police, ghosthunters, and some detectives in case the zombies were fake.

Everyone knows that the first thing to go during a zombie apocalypse is the communications infrastructure.

Amazing how zombies seem to just shuffle around aimlessly, yet they instinctively know to take out the phone lines right away.

I guess, once I left the sporting goods store, I'd make a quick stop at the nearby electronics store and stock up on phones with which to distract the horde.

What's the point of this thread, exactly?

@Argoyle - I'm pretty sure you're only allowed to grab things from the sporting goods store.

No one said you couldn't grab anything from any other store once you were out of the sporting goods store.

True enough, I suppose. Wait, so I do get my flamethrower? Great, zombies are scared of fire and flammable.