What! They end together and have a child being vampires, nonsense!
I'll still read the books for my English.

@flavie: having a half breed vampy kid isn't bad necessarily. (No one's really complained about MY half vampy nameless kid in my fics for instance. )

Also, I would really not read it for the english. The english/grammar is stilted with constant word repetition (eddy's attributes every 5 paragraphs for instance) and imo, not that very interesting. Harry potter is better for the english.

KTC is right abt the awful use of adonis

But still twilight has good grammar and sentence structure

theone: Cough, cough. Ahem. Good grammar and sentence structure? I beg to differ on that account. The sentence structure is clogged with adverbs, adjectives are horribly overused, there are even misspellings (where is SMeyer's editor?) and the grammar is laughable.
Yeah.

@sera: speaking of word repetition:

http://otahyoni.livejournal.com/130432.html

^ rofl! this person had WAY too much time on their hands XD But it does show the ridiculousness of twilight. and the later points are all valid.

For example:
"'He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. ' Incandescent. Scintillating. The adjectives in this book cracked me up. Because he sparkles!


"I could smell the unbearably sweet fragrance coming off his chest.
He pressed his cool lips to my forehead, and the room spun. The smell of his breath made it impossible to think.
Because, through the heavy water, I heard the sound of an angel calling my name, calling me to the only heaven I wanted.
He leaned in slowly, the beeping noise accelerated wildly before his lips even touched me. But when they did, though with the most gentle of pressure, the beeping stopped altogether."

...EDWARD KISSES HER AND HER HEART LITERALLY STOPS. I just...I don't even know what to do with this. Other than laugh hysterically while I beat my head against the table."
^ XD author cracks me up

Quote:

Er, WHAT? His CHEST smells nice, HA! I've seen few things more ridiculous than this. What in the world?

Quote:

Hahaha. Angel my foot.

I also have probs with that half-vamp demon spawn. I mean, Meyer clearly knew NOTHING about dhampirs. She must have thought that she's being original by making a half-vampire half-human character so she could do whatever she wanted with it.. NO. Just NO. Dhampir babies don't involve bloody and dangerous pregnancies and birth, thank you very much.

What the hell, the baby is fully ready to be born in one month, can speak telepathically with Edward, and already mastered adult speech in matter of weeks. Just What. The. Hell. And what's with that demon spawn's name? Renesmee Carlie Cullen.. Ick. Combining people's names are like those fanfic pairing like.. I don't know, Sparrabeth for Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann pairing. Bleh. It would be okay if it's an other world fantasy setting where everyone have weird names, but it's not okay in normal daily life.

@daevas:

Birth: well... oh wait. we're not talking about the aliens series are we where the alien baby rips out of the hosts body? XD

Prepare for a very long explicit biological explanation of why the renessme now known as alien baby (girl) is a laughable impossibility.

Sex should be utterly impossible given that an erection requires blood flow but these sparklies do not have blood flow. They don't bleed after all. Remember, its the heart that pumps the blood making it move to where ever. But, vampires are dead and their hearts don't beat meaning there's no blood flow. The blood will simply go to whereever gravity takes it.

Okay, let's say that's overcome: Edward had already stopped all bodily functions when he was turned into a sparkly meaning no sperm production so Bella should have not been impregnated in any way. It would have been pure venom entering her which should have been a totally dazzling experience.

And no, the sperm already in him (which should have been purged by venom anyway) would have already broken apart since sperm does not last 100 years, heck not even several days. Yes Edward's a 'popsicle', but the sperm are not 'in' the male body obviously (ie, they're in the hanging outside testes) so they would have decayed eventually. Also, since eddy's dead, this means his body would equalize with the temperature of the environment he's in. For example, if it was 50 degrees, then his body would warm up to approximately that amount since there's nothing in the body to act as a temperature control. So, unless Edward was in in the North Pole for the whole time he was a vampire, it would be impossible for his body to actually preserve his sperm by freezing them. Another point is that sperm require a specific temperature to actually remain in active condition, which a dazzpire will not be able to maintain.

Okay, so lets say that was overcome and you have a biologically impossible venomized sperm meet the egg. The venom is suppose to stop the aging process immediately so Alien baby should have been stunted at zygote stage, NOT experience accelerated growth.

Now let's look at the chromosome explanation she gave, which is vampires have 25 to humans 23. Alien baby girl apparently has 24. Anyone who've taken a biology course knows this is an impossibility. Chromosomes do not suddenly get deleted when sperm meets egg. No, they get paired together with their homolog/match. 23 vamp would have paired up with the 23 human =46 leaving 2 extra chromosomes for a total of 48. Now here's the fun part:
Vampires have an original 25 haploid cell meaning they will get 50 for a diploid somatic cell. All these lovely chromosomes are paired up and everyone's just sparkling.
Humans have an original 23 haploid cell meaning they get 46 for a diploid cell and this works out for us.

23human+23vamp=46 happy chromosomes.
the extra 2 there? they are not paired up with any one and will seriously mess up mitosis because one cannot set up the chromosomes properly to split during metaphase. And if you think those chromosomes simply pair together, again it doesn't work like this. Since they came from the perfect vampire, we can only assume that nondisjunction (aka meiosis defects) did NOT happen. In other words, these chromosomes are not paired up. If they were paired up (as in a nondisjunction event), than his sperm is essentially flawed which does not match the whole edward is perfect image.

So here's the simpler/nutshell explanation:
Vampire=50 chromosomes
Humans=46
Alien baby=46+2 extra= extremely defective for a human since she has 2 extra, and extremely defective as a vampire since she lost 2.

See where I'm getting? Alien baby has a completely defective chromosome set. She should not have gained full vamp status and should be seriously more messed up.
(I've been looking for the source of this chromosome explanation but haven't located it. Either way, its impossible)

IN otherwords: SM utterly FAILS at basic biology.

My reasoning was, why should the sun burn them? That seemed like a very mystical kind of thing, and my vampires are more science than magic to me (whereas my werewolves are more magic than science).
^bwhahahahaha. Science? science? You have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to science!

And I hope that was an educational rant XD

Disclaimer: I'm not an expert on the human body as I wrote from what I remember of my biology/genetics course so I might be wrong about the specifics.

Oh my gosh... You REALLY thought that through, didn't you? And I love how Stephanie Meyer says how her vampires are more science than anything. "Vampires burning up is too mystical... blah blah blah." So then WHY should they sparkle? Shouldn't they just be, like, normal? I just read through this part of the interview, and her explanation was, to put it bluntly, idiotic. So vampire skin hardening into diamond is less mystical than burning up in the sun? O.O I mean, really Stephanie Meyer, give us a break. You CAN'T tell a story to save your life (well, you obviously can, but that's only because a whole lot of people have low standards or something). I think that your books aren't the worst ever, but I can say that Breaking Dawn came close to disgusting. You would be a good author if A) you actually came up with a story that did not rely on details as holey as moth-eaten couch covers, and B) you decided to get an editor. =/

@ipink: well, I'm a plot-hole-seeking-freak, so I poke holes in most things. Also, it's painfully obvious that SM doesn't know/entirely ignores biology and it totally irks me that she would say her dazzpires are scientifically reasonable when they are not. They have so many scientific plot holes that the above rant is only a small part of it.

Also, poking her dazzpires shows me what NOT to do when I write vampires and how to make mine more realistic.

You said about Ed but Bella becomes a vampire, right?
How can a vampress ensure blood flow and through blood, food to the baby?

@theone: I'm not sure what your asking.
Bella becomes a vamp only after she gives 'birth' to alien baby. And that's due to Eddy injecting her with venom through a syringe. (I won't even go into how weird that part was)

She was quite human when alien baby popped out.

I did not read the last book so Sorry. But that is impossoble she did not become vampire when she had sex

So I guess that means Eddie's thing is no match in aggression against his fangs? Mwahahahahahahaha... Does that mean he ain't a man? Oh sorry, a man vampire *smirk* Even Rosalie is fiercer than Eddie

@theone: I already pointed that out in my essay/rant.

@aisling: bwhahahaha. XD What fangs? He ain't got any type of aggression besides being in constant emo stalking mode. Even Galahad's more manly than him by far in the vampire area

So true. Even Galahad the half vampire is twice the vampire Edward is

@Aisling
Aye! Despite his hate towards his association to the group...."Hail Galahad the vampire paladin!" xD

@KTC
When I read that chromosome theory of Bella and Ed's kid....It was like dejavu...I read something similar to this somewhere...xD What I can say is that the author's attempts at trying to convince her how her absurd theory about vampire biology has just more strongly reinforced the fact that she knows nothing about "fictional or real biology" at all Even if it was "fictional biology", she contradicted herself in too many ways to actually make it sound "reasonable".

Tbh the twilight 'haters' are even worse, and probably, the same, with the so-called "twi-hards". Ok. So you read the book, watched the movie, and it sucked. Well? Rambling on and on about it changes nothing of its popularity... you are still *ahem* very passionate... about hating and ranting about it... and they are still ever passionate of lurrrving on it. And this tells us WHAT exactly? That you're just like them, obsess about Twilight, just at a different way that is.

Oh and that means 'she' and 'they' gotcha. Sucker! (*coughs* please ignore that last comment... >.> )

@ivana: Naw, hater vs fangirl is different.
If a hater is actively throwing their opinions in other people's faces and trying to convert people than yeah: that's some obsession going on and there's not much difference since both are being trolls. (Yet I only hear stories of twihard violent physical reactions against non lovers, haven't seen any of the reverse aka haters on twihiards)

For me, its rare to find something so hilariously non logical and yet so popular at the same time. Poking at it gives me something to do on a slow day. As I said before, it also gives me an example of what NOT to do with vampires since I write about Teijal quite often and analyzing the fallacies of dazzpires means correcting my own version of vampires.
For example, since I pointed out the scientific flaws going around, I made sure my vampires make more sense than that. I like logic and hope to make a mostly logical vampire species. XD

Oh, and I find the rabid fangirls far worst than any haters if the stories be true. I know one was correct in which they almost got RPatt(actor who plays eddy) run over by a taxi and they keyed a few non lovers' car.

Yeah, I'd stay far away from any of the fangirls.

@elie: cool

What I hate about the Twilight effect is that red, black, and white for some reason have become "Twilight colours". So there are lots of jewelry in red and black and occasionally some white being sold as Twilight "insert jewelry/object name here". Just because something is red and black doesn't make it Twilight-related.

Also, TWILIGHT COSPLAY!!! Twilight is juts ordinary setting. How can you cosplay as ordinary people? There's no difference from wearing your daily clothes, except maybe the hairdo or something. What the heck?

@KTC

Whoa almost got run over by a taxi?! :o That's even worse than that twi-hard-spilling-someone-with-acid/something incident!

@daeva

Eww Twilight COSPLAY?! That's gross! (And they're not even animes/mangas)