I know it is kind of hard to read and keep up with the first posts of this but it does get easier to read since I have been writing it differently.Will come back and change all this cluster up when I get a chance.
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''Come here kid now!.''He heard before the big guy pushed him down.Helpless all he can do is just lay there letting the man strip him of all his valuables.Reaching for his pocket hiding something from the man he clutched it tightly into his hands.''What is this you are hiding from me kid?''He said as he reached down to open up his hand.''No,you will never take this from me no matter what you do to me.''The kid said.''We will see about that.''He heard before he got a foot cracking him in the skull.Lying there his eyes slowly closing from the pain all he could see was someone walking from the shadows before he passed out.

Feeling warm he slowly opened his eyes.Looking down at his hand he noticed the item he was hiding still clutched tightly in his hand as he held it close to his heart.Getting up quickly he noticed what he was in seemed like a small cottage.''Lay back down before you pass out again on me.''Is all he heard before he dropped to his stomach passed out.Light shining into his eyes he slowly reopened them and got sat up to a plate of food sitting before him.''Eat up you need your strength then you can get out of here.''He heard the same voice.Looking around he saw a shadow of a big man with his back turned to him.''Where am I?''Is all the flustered kid could think of to say.''You are safe.I brought you here after I found you and ran off the man who was beating you.''

''My name is Cain,thank you for helping me.''He said with tears welling up in his eyes as he sat down to eat his food.After eating his meal he turned to the man in the shadows looking up in awe at this powerful force before him.''Thank you again.Is there anyway I can get your name?''He said as he stood up slowly still in pain from the nite before.''I am just someone noone ever remembers,so my name means nothing to you or anyone else.''Cain slowly walking toward the man couldn't help but be captivated by his savior.''Your name means alot to me.You saved my life.''Then Cain heard laughter coming from the man.''You just do not understand the power that is within you do you?You did not need my help one bit.''
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Tell me if you guys like so far.

Looking forward to seeing what his power is, and who saved him - great story start, BadMagick!

Cain looked at the man in awe.''What do you mean?I am weak and will always be weak.I cannot protect anyone,or else I would have not let my family die the way I did.I am weak and that is it!''Cain yelled out as he clinched the item in his pocket.''Well what makes you move forward?It seems as if you have nothing to live for,so why do you even fight?''Cain struggled up slowly.''Because I have to live for them!No matter what happens,I will always live for them.They are always there for me.I hold them close to my heart no matter what''.Cain exclaimed to the man in the shadows.''Then why didn't you let it out?Why didn't you even try to save them?''The man said in a deep mad voice.

Ooh, good.
One tip to make reading easier (I hope you don't mind). It helps to start a new line whenever you change speakers. It makes the writing go longer on the page, but it's easier for readers to keep track of who's talking.

Looking forward to more...

his words "i hold themclose to my heart" seem very sad. I wonder how his family died.

I am good at critisism I will NEVER complain to it no matter what so feel free to give it whenever you see fit.I know it is not perfect I am right now just trying to get it down then I will change stuff or feel free to email me or send a message with it revamped and I will gladly give you credit in this post.
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''Because I am weak.I do not know of this power you are talking about.If I knew of a power such as you spoke of then I would use it.I am tired of being lonesome.I have been on my own.Travelling the longest plain,just to try to fit in.Everywhere I go,it is the same thing.All I ever get is beat up and that is it.Please help me I want to know what you mean.Please,help me.''Cain said to the man in the darkness.''Well answer me this Cain.What went through your heart when your family perished before your eyes?What did you see that was so upsetting that you couldn't help them?''He said standing up in anticipation for a reply.

Okay, I won't stand, but I will SIT and wait for a reply - in the story that is. Looking forward to more - I feel sorry for this Cain, and hope the stranger can help him...

''I-I-I just couldn't understand why people are lik-''Just before he finished what he was saying the man in the shadows stopped him.''You do not understand why people are like the way they are.Well,let me tell you how people are.People are ignorant to things they do not know.Why you were targeted I do not know Cain.But I do know you do have a chance to change your life and I hope you do change it for the better.The power I speak of is flowing within your veins.It is for all of us Hypovans.We are always neglected and pushed aside Cain.We will never be understood.I do not know why but people are scared of us.That is why I hid myself out here away from everyone else.I only go to town when I have to go to town.And the strangers that follow,well I do not know what to say.They are scared of anyone different.''The stranger in the shadows said as he walked toward the dim light of the fire he set up for Cain.All Cain could do was fall onto his bottom as he glared up at this giant of a man for the first time.Someone standing 7 feet tall a big long red beard flowing like crimson in the light of the fire.Wearing normal clothes trying to fit into the world surrounding him.As he looked at the man he began to slouch down looking more limber than he was.''So Cain tell me about your family.Tell me what happened and why you did not unleash your power?''

Cain stood up in front the giant.''Well I am helpless and know nothing of this power you speak of.If I knew of this power I would have sa-''Then the man stood up lumbering over Cain looking down at him as if he were an ant among the scraps of food on the floor surrounding him.''I am sick of your excuses Cain,show me your power now or else you will die right here in front of me.Your family died because you were weak and you are helpless.I am sick of you,NOW DIE.''The man said as he started to raise his leg and drop it on Cain's skull.

Reaching for his hand clenching it tightly Cain unleahes a white power that blinded the ogre in front of him and he stood up with white flames surrounding him.The giant covered his eyes as he felt a sharp pain splitting into his sides as Cain watched him flying into the wall.Suddenly Cain fell down to his knee's huffing for more air to rush into his lungs.''IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?Cain said madly as he stood back up looking over at the man and pushed with such force the man flew through the wall onto his back.''Yes Cain that is what I want let it flow through you,Cain.I WANT TO TASTE WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER.''The man said as he stood up slowly with a crooked smile upon his crooked tooth grin.''LET ME FEEL IT!LET ME FEEL YOUR PAIN CAIN GIVE IT TO ME!''The man screamed out loudly as birds flew from the trees nearby.

ohh scary... but awesome update loved it... hope you complete your other works too...

As the man walked towards Cain blood slowly dripping down his brow.Cain saw this as a challenge and lifted one of his hands up slowly showing his palm to the stranger with his first and third finger stetching out slowly building up a bright bulb of light in the palm of his hand.All of a sudden the stranger vanished as Cain heard.''I am right here.''As he slowly turned around he felt a painful sting in the back of his neck as he fell down.Slowly letting the pain envelop him,Cain slipped out of consiousness.

Waking up his vision blurry Cain stood up quickly looking around.''I am sorry I pushed you so hard Cain.I thought I felt something special within you but apparently I was wrong.From now on you can do as you wish.''The man said again as Cain looked at him from a distance.''But can I finally ask who you are and actually see your face for once?''Cain asked the man hiding before him.''I am...''The man said as he stood up slowly his bones creaking from the pain he felt earlier.''I am known as Nothingness.''The man said as he walked over to Cain and knelt down before him.''LOOK,look closely at me Cain.I want you to see who I really am.''The man said as Cain stared straight into his face that seemed like nothing was there.''I am your fighting spirit Cain and I want you to always know I am here for you when you need me.''The man said as he slowly dissapeared in a fog swept away by the wind.

As far as the other works I wrote I do not know about I hate everything I write and am critical of it all.If I do not like it I am going to either forget about it or come back to it later lol

This story is going well so far, and I hope you keep going with it. You do risk frustrating your fans if you put up things and don't finish them (other stories you mentioned). Too much of that and they won't want to start reading your stuff - no one likes frustration. If you think you might not finish one, you could finish the whole story on your own before you post the first section, then put it up in sections for others to see.

Anyway - this one is going great, and I hope you will finish it!

you do have quite a skill for good unique plots... so please try to finish them as well as this... really like them all else i wouldnt have asked you... please... it was really a great update

I tried working on the other ones last nite but kept getting backed into a corner lol they will be updated soon I promise.I updated The Decision is Yours a bit earlier there is still more to write but my internet is acting funky so bear with me.
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Just as suddenly as the giant of a man dissapeared Cain woke up to see the man lowering himself down to the ground reaching for Cain's hand.''Oh so you are awake now are you?''He said to Cain in a small voice trying to catch his breath after exhausting his energy fighting with Cain.''Now give me that item your holding and this will all be over.''He said grabbing onto Cain's hand trying to open it up.Shaking his head to clear his mind Cain was more interested in what had just happened to him.''Was it all a dream or something else?''He said out loud to himself looking down at his hand as he clenched his fist and belted the robber across the face watching him fall down in agony clutching his face in pain.''I am going to leave now so it would be smart to leave me alone,or else.''He muttered as he slowly stood up grabbing his stomach in pain.Opening his hand he looked down at what seemed like a locket.Opening it up he saw the picture of his mom and sisters he loved dearly.Seeing the tiny glass that was holding the pictures still was cracked.Cain felt his stomach starting to churn as his throat swelled up while a tear slowly rolled down his cheek.Putting the locket back into his pocket he slowly made his way through the forest into the night.

Limping past trees and logs Cain fell down to his knees in agony as he maneuvered himself onto his back all he could do is lie there and look up at the sky hoping he would feel good enough soon to get up and find a place to go.Closing his eyes he starts seeing flashes of when he was younger with his mother and sisters.''Cain come here quickly.''He heard gently in the wind.Running to the voice he saw his sister down by the old creek she was always at.For some reason she was always entranced by the water and loved finding frogs so she could study them.Walking over to the edge of the water Cain sat down next to his sister.''What is it Kayleigh?''He asked his sister as he looked down at her hand at what appeared to be a little fish with legs.''Look at this!''She said excitedly as she held her hand up so Cain could get a better look.''What is it?''He said knowing full well that it was a tadpole but he knew his sister was excited to share things with him.''This is a baby frog.It is called a tadpole and they are dropped into the water by their mother as they feed on the yolk that is inside it's tummy.In about 12 weeks this tadpole will grow into a full fledged frog and I will come back to study it when it is older.''She told Cain as she gently put him back into the water so it wouldn't die.

''Kids hurry up and come home it is about to rain.''The two children heard as they looked up at the sky just as they got pelted in the forehead by droplets of water.Jumping up to his feet Cain held out his hand to his sister to help her up.Turning his back to his sister Cain bent his knees a little and waved for his sister.''Come on Kayleigh hop on and I will give you a piggy back ride home.''So Kayleigh ran and quickly jumped onto her big brother's back and reached her arms around his neck for support so she wouldn't fall.''Ok brother,I am ready so let's go and be quick about it I am getting soaked here.''Laughing loudly at his sister Cain began running back to the house and inside to greet his mother and his other sister.

His other sister was pale and sickly looking because she had a weird fear of going outside.Whenever she would go outside she would be afraid something bad would happen to her.On many occasions Cain has tried to talk his sister into going outside telling her all about the lovely trees and the birds.As excited as was to hear about them she still never felt safe enough to go outside even the littlest bit.So she usually hung around her mom inside helping her with what needs to be done.

Cain's mother on the other hand was a gorgeous lady with long flowing brown hair that all the men in the tiny village fell in love with over and over again.She loved being a single parent.She never wanted to remarry once her husband died.No matter what the children could look up at her and seeing a big smile on her face no matter what was going on that day whether it be good or bad.

''You guys are soaked to the bone aren't you?''His mother asked the two of them.''No,we are just a little wet mom no reason to be worried.We will dry out in no time,right Kayleigh?''Cain responded as he looked down at his sister to see her nod her head in agreement.''Ok then if you say so.''His mother said with a smile as she turned back around to finish up making their dinners.

Looking over to the corner of the room Cain saw his other sister and walked over to her.Dropping down to his knees so he could be face to face with her she held out her arms and Cain smiled as he picked her up to give her a big hug.''How are you doing,Courtney?''He asked her as she opened her mouth,but to his amazement nothing came out.''Ah,I see what the problem is here.''Cain said as he reached around to the back pocket of his pants and pulled out a blue triangle shape rock and gave it to his sister.''Thanks Cain she said smiling brightly.''You're always welcome little sis.''He told her as he stood up and walked over to his mother.

''Hey mom what are we going to have for dinner tonight?''Cain asked his mother looking over her shoulder to try to get a glimpse of the food to be had.''You just go over there and sit down and be patient for once.''She said with a little snicker and turned around carrying a big pot and sets it down in front of them all.Picking up their bowls and dishing out food to them one by one and setting it back down in front of them.As they looked down at the bowls their eyes widened and they all smiled''Wow,we haven't had roast in a long time.I have missed the smell and taste of it.''Said Courtney and they all began to dig into the wonderful feast their mother prepared for them.

After dinner Cain helped his mother pick the plates up off the table and clean them,while his sisters sat in the corner drawing pictures of what they seen outside.Kayleigh always had more pictures to draw since she actually went outside and Courtney only could draw the same things everyday.''I will be back soon mom.''Cain said as he walked through the door.

Outside he looked up again at the sky to make sure it wasn't going to rain again while he was out.Walking down the long winding dirt road Cain looked from left to right trying to find some good logs he could take home so his family would be warm once more tonite.As he was walking back onto the road he accidentally bumped into a man.''I am so sorry.''Cain told the man who had an evil grin on his face.As Cain was backing away from the man all the man did was tip his hat to Cain and went on his way.Shrugging off the weird encounter he began his search once more for wood he could burn.After being out for what seemed like a few minutes the sky quickly became swallowed by the darkness.Trying to hurry up Cain was running home when he heard screaming.''HELP US!''He heard as the familiar sounding voice rang through his ears.Suddenly dropping the logs he quickly runs back home.His heart feeling as if it is about to pound out of his chest he pushes through the pain and stops in front of his house.Standing before the front door everything seems normal and sounds like everyone is fast asleep.

As he opened the door the strange man he saw before was standing there as if he were waiting for Cain to come home.''You kid come here I want you see this.''The man said with that same evil grin as he lifted his hand up high over his head.Cain watched his hand as it rose up and noticed something shiny in the palm of his hand.Clearing the sweat from his forehead he could see what clearly looked like some strange kind of knife.''Watch this now I want you to see this clearly boy.''The maniac said with a loud shrill laughter.Cain was frozen with fear and could only watch as the man quickly brought his hand down and Cain snapped out of the day dream his heart pounding and shaken with terror.Rolling over onto his stomach all he could do was cry.''I'm sorry I am weak and couldn't save you guys.''Cain muttered the best he could with his lip quivering.

I am going to try something probably mess it up big time I am going to try to write this next part like your supposed to.
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''Quit crying you weakling.All you ever do is feel sorry for yourself.Get up NOW!''Cain heard ringing through his head.

Slowly getting up still in alot of pain he began walking in any direction humped over in pain as he struggled just a few steps.With determination in his heart he pushed onwards toward the light he seen flashing in the sky earlier.

''Come on.Quit acting like a baby and muster up the strength to move or else your dead.''Cain heard ringing through his head.

After awhile he finally came to a small cottage and walked up to the door gently knocking on it.After waiting what seemed like forever he was about to leave when the door slowly creaked open about an inch or so.A pair of green eyes is all he could see staring at him.

''Yes?Well what do you want be quick about it.''A lady said in a tone she used when she was trying to scare off people she thought might try to rob her.

''Well get on with it then.Tell me what you want.''She said again.

Cain looked into the ladies eyes and suddenly dropped down face first on the cement walkway.

''Ha ha ha.I knew you were weak.''Cain heard inside his head,

Slowly opening his eyes and rubbing his head where it busted onto the concrete he looked up to see a little old lady.She couldn't be any taller then 4 foot 6 inches.Her tired old bones creaked as she moved about.Feeling a sharp sting on his face Cain jumped back quickly.

''Oh stop it you big wimp.This stuff stings but it will clean your wounds so just lie down and let me take care of your cuts and scrapes.Oh yea by the way my name is Edna.What is yours?''The old lady said wiping away the dried up blood on Cain's face and body.

''Ouch!''Said Cain

''Your name is Ouch?That is a strange name for someone.''Edna said.

''No,my name is Cain.I said ouch because OUCH!that stuff is painful.''He replied.

After laying there feeling as if he is being tortured by the enemy Cain finally felt better and sat up.Looking down at his arms seeing them wrapped in bandages.

''I do not know what I can do to repay you for all of this.If there is something I can do I will be glad to help.''Cain said looking up at the old lady.

''Well since you put it that way mummy man let me think on this for awhile and I will get back to you.For right now here is some food so eat up and regain your strength.''Edna told Cain.

Wow, BadMagick - all these updates were good, and that last one was written beautifully! Great work!

I am glad a few people are enjoying my long winded story lol I am not even close to getting to the middle of the story but if people are enjoying it I will keep on writing it Thanks again.
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As Cain sat there looking down at his food he felt his appetite slowly returning to him as he felt a slight grumble coming from inside his stomach.Having his arms wrapped tightly in bandages he had a hard time maneuvering his hands to pick up the wooden utensil so he could grab onto his food and eat it.After fumbling around for a little he finally caught on and got the first bite to fall into his empty stomach in days.His eye's widening and growing bigger as he hadn't tasted anything as good since he had his mother's cooking.

''Well well,it looks like someone hasn't eaten in forever.''Edna said as she was smiling seeing his bowl almost empty went and refilled it back up for Cain.

''Thanks alot ma'am I really needed this and it is delicious.I haven't had anything this good sin-.''Cain stopped himself feeling his throat swelling up again.He continued trying to eat his food having to push it down his throat from the swelling.

After finishing up his meal Cain stood up and looked around the room trying to find a place to put his dishes in to no avail.

''Here mummy let me see those dishes.I am a simple woman and walk down to fill up this big bucket everyday so I can clean my dishes with and my house.''Edna told Cain as she walked over and grabbed his wooden eating utensil and plate with some food squashed onto it he couldn't get ahold of.

''Well do you have a place to stay and live?''She asked Cain not hearing an answer.

Looking back at him she saw him looking down at the floor telling he was in pain.

''Well do not worry mummy cheer up some you can stay here as long as you need and help around the house.''She said with a grin.

Just as she spoke those last words Cain's head shot up almost giving him whiplash which was all he needed at this point.

''Are you sure ma'am?I do not want to be any trouble to you?''He said with the first smile he has had on his face in years.

''I will be glad to have you here mummy but if you call me ma'am one more time you are going to be lifted up off the ground by your ear.I am not ma'am I am Edna alright?''She said laughing at Cain.

''Yes ma'a....''Cain said stopping in his tracks before Edna made good on her promise about lifting him up by the ears.

''Yes Edna,I mean I would love to stay here with you.''Cain said as he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders.

For once Cain wouldn't have to worry about about where he was going and what was going to happen to him and how he was going to eat.For the first time in forever he could look up to the sky and take a deep breath of air with no worries for the moment.