I was looking at old stories of mine and found this one between it, never actually finished it, and i don't have habit of writting two stories at the same time, but since it's actually funny, why not let u guys read about it, if u like it, i'll keep posting it, if u don't, i'll stop.

Anyway this is a story about a teenage goddess of darkness, who's not your usual wicked evil goddess. Alot of things will happen with this girl.


*****

Ruining books

Once upon a time...

Ah hell... I hate this! I hate magical records!

Hi, my name is Darka. I'm the older daughter of our holy mother goddess, the Great Mother (talk about original name). I suffer from a bad temper according to my mom, but i don't buy it, and i love to blow up stuff, break stuff, and, like any teenage girl... hot guys, sorry but hot is hot, no use argueing about that. By the way i'm eighteen (in goddess years), i'm cute and when i'm good i'm really good, but when i'm evil, i'm wicked! Sorry i love this line!

Right now I've to fix mortal records, the books who decide people's life, cause I kinda... turned them into... lets just say it ain't good... and now my mom wants to slay me cause of it.

"Mom do I really have to do this?"

"Stop complaining and just fix it already!"

I got her in a bad mood. Ok so I completly ruined all the records of this planet, but we're in the the fifteen century, its not like the oracles read them, people don't even belive them anymore (fools).

"Darka! You've ten minutes to put those books back to normal or I'm giving your dark realm to your sister!"

"What?!"

No way! She's not gonna give my realm to Lumina, I swear for her own sake I will blow up this whole universe if she does that! My sister is sooo... girly! For her everything is pink and white, I'm ok with the white, but PINK?! It annoys the hell out of me, I wish she was, normal, smart, a real girl! No, instead she's living annoyance of light. I wish she was like Sallo... he's so hot and smart and wise and...

"Darka, are you fixing the the books or bablaring about Sallo?!"

"What?! How do you know about Sallo?!"

"Great Mother, goddess that created everything in the universe. I know everything."

Now she tells me, that's why she never falls for my lies! Great... Ah hell, i better finish before my realm turns into rainbows and pink flowers!

Only thing is... if she knows everything, where the hell am i going to hide this diary?! Maybe on my basilisk aquarium, she's affraid of Snakey, so i guess she won't try to catch my diary.

XD haha! Love it!

*rolls on the floor laughing*

Yey people liked the story. I'm gonna post the next chapter now. This one is long! sorry.

****

Annoying Sister

Dear diary...

Growl!! I need an original way to start my entries...

Dear diary..<--- what's up with that?! Everyone uses it, since when is a diary dear? It's true I would prefer to burn my sister's hair than this diary... But please, it's a notebook, it was useless to me till... yesterday.

Anyway I got grounded today, why? Cause I actually burned my sister's hair.

"I must say it is an amazing acomplishment. But you are still grounded!" My mom said.

Oh come on, she wanted a new hairstyle! The only thing I did was give her a... flamey hand. She should thank me, now her hair is shorter and it looks better, and cryspy! And it was funny to watch her run around the room with the hair on fire, she we both won.

"My head is on fire! My head is on fire!"

"Stop running and just roll down." I told her. And i did helped her put the fire out, but it was so funny.

I learned to conjure fire from my mom's spell books. My stupid sister is the one who prefers to read useless novels about a queen and a prince instead of learning real magic, she should be the goddess of lameness and not the goddess of light. And i'm stuck with being the goddess of darkness and nobody likes me!

"Maybe if you stopped being so mean all the time!"

"Aww! I'm not mean, I'm wicked, it's different."

"Really? I didn't notice!" Annoying sister.

Wait! What is she doing in my room... AND READING MY DIARY!? Be right back. I'm going to kick my sister's pink derrier out of my room, realm... THING!

Ok I'm back, but she's still in my room, my mom wants me to teach her magic, why doesn't she teaches her that?! Why am I stuck with the dirty work?!

"Cause you're grounded! Now teach her what you know!" Annoying mother...

"And don't call me annoying." Super annoying mother.

Ouch, she just threw a book at me.

"Can't a girl have thought privacy anymore?!"

I'm going to teach her the lamest tricks I know, no way I will teach her the cool ones, those are for me, I want to impress Sallo.

"I will tell him you spy on him when he's on the public baths!" Annoying sister...

"WILL YOU STOP READING WHAT I'M WRITTING IN MY DIARY, YOU BRAT?!"

Anyway. My sister Lumina is thirteen, she's cute ("Unlike you!" I'm so going to kill her!!), squishy, looks like the thousands of porcelane dolls she has, with gold eyes, blond hair and pink circlet. She doesn't has a forehead elementar jewel like me, she still has to pass her first level exam.

"It's so hard, I can't bare myself to hurt those monsters."

She's just scared actually, you should she her doing the exam, she just runs around crying and yelling.

"Help! They are going to hurt me! And i just got my nails fixed!"

Oh please, who made her a goddess anyway?!

"Me. Have some complaint against it?"

"No mom..."

Of course I do, she's so useless and lame and... And Sallo likes her... no fair!! She's so lame! And she doesn't like him, she thinks he's inferior for being a spirit and not a god! No fair...

She should be the infwerior one, she couldn't do a spell not even if her life depended on it. I got to go teach pretty Miss Lame real girl magic!

Please coment.

Blackmail

Sometimes I wonder if people are stupid. I'm the best doing blackmail, i'm still laughing of Sallo's face yesterday.

Ok two days ago was my first day of school, reason why i didn't write. In the first day both me and Sallo got detention for arriving late. And one of the teachers announced he was going to make a pop quizz, cause i didn't felt like studying i deciuded to steal the pop quizz but i need help. So I went to the cantine and I walked to Sallo who he was balancing his chair back and forth, i pulled the chair and he fell down.

"Aaaah! Crud! Darka! Are you crazy?!" He yelled in the ground as he rubbed his head.

"You, help me steal the biology pop quizz!" I ordered, he blinked twice and looked at me. "You're kidding, I'm already in enough trouble you know."

"So? I'm in troubles everyday." I said. "I'll get my sister to help."

"Ok, you got me interested, I'm going." He said. Moron, like my sister would help me with that.

So we went to Mister Gavintion, the animal god's office, and we had to climb the window. Actually Sallo was helping me reach the window whe...

"I thought you said your sister would help us." He started.

"I lied." Why did I opened my mouth?!

"Lier..."

"Aaah! Sallo, this ain't funny! Help me!" I yelled, he left me, HOLDING to the the SECOND floor WINDOW and walked away leaving me HANGING THERE!

"See ya in detention Darka." He said walking away.

"Aaah!" I finnally fell down and... "Oof!" landed on something soft, more exactly my sister.

"Darka!" She whined. I growled.

"Joshua Sallo. I don't care that your the hottest guy alive, but you're gonna pay for this!" I growled fisting into the air enraged. "Lumina, i need you to go with me to detention tomorrow."

"Why?" She assked with her girly voice.

"Do it or i'll tell mom you stole her jewerly again!" I pointed at her necklage.

"Ok."

The next day i entered detention, my sister following far behind. Sallo was sitted on the chairs talking with a guy. Sallo was pretty tall, pretty tall for a spirit, he had brown hair, and curiously white eyes, his skin was very clear and he always wore black or cream coloured clothes.

I walked to him and sat infront of him, he looked at me with a smirk. My sister sat next to me and I smirked.

"From now on, you will be my man slave!" I told him.

He laughed. "And why is that?"

"As a punishment for leaving me hanging yesterday!"

He laughed again. "And what if i refuse?"

I placed a recording orb on the table and grabbed Sallo's hand pulling it forward and putting right over my sister chest and squeezed!

"Aaaaah!" She yelled.

"..." Sallo parilized wide eyed. I pulled his arm forward and he fell over my sister as the orb i had kept recording the images.

"What the...?!" he got up and looked at me.

"Darka! Are you..." He shut up when he saw the orb I was happily swaying around. "Is that a recording orb."

"Yep and unless you want the principal to get this pretty images, I advise to do anything i want."

I smirked and my sister looked at me annoyed.

"Ok... you won..." he said with a ghostly sigh.

Yey! Now Sallo belongs to me! Heheh... i'm so wicked!

"First thing! I want that biology pop quizz."

"I'm not gona ste..."

"Harassment pictures..." I waved the orb around and he sighed.

"I hate you..."

"Get in line." Lumina said.

He did got me the pop quizz. I wonder what i'm going to make him do tomorrow for me. Maybe do a club or start a food fight, or prank the teachers.

"You do know that's not gonna make him like you." Annoying sister again in my room. I snapped my fingers and her hair caught on fire.

"Aaah! Darka!"

Well i'll write tomorrow. I've to put out my sister hair.

awwww, i love it. it's so cutee, and funny. =]]
i likee darka and her annoying sister. haha

It's extremely funny. I really like it! Keep writing!

To the fans of Darka, the new page of her diary.

The evil kitties club

Mwhaha! I got a club! I got a club! Who's cool? I'm cool.

"Very modest you are!" Annoying sister.

How come everytime I write in my diary she's noseing around?

"Ouch!" Hehe, was noseing around, I stuck my pencil in her nose! Eww though. Got to get a new one.

Anyway, my club's name is The Evil Kitties club. I came up with the name in my own!

"Not! Ouch! Darka! Why you punched me?"

Ok, so I got some help from Sallo. Anyway. I arrived at school, as usual late, and sneaked into class. Luckily the teacher had missed the class, so i turned back to Sallo who sits behind me and said:

"I wanna make a club!"

"Really? Good luck with that." He said laying his head back on the desk. I ripped one of his hairs off. "Ouch!? What the..."

"I want to make a club and i want your help. And by your help i mean, you're going to do all the work!" I informed.

"It figures." He yawned boredly.

"Are you calling me clichê?!" I asked doing a masterlock on him.

"Aaah! Darka! Stop! Ok, ok! I'l help you with your stupid club!" He said.

I pulled his ear.

"My club ain't stupid. We need a name for the club. Lumina get here." I called.

Lumina ran to us, she was wearing a girly pink dress with so many ruffles she seemed to be insuflated.

"How about, the Spirit Party?" She asked.

What is this? A rpg? The spirit party? Why not the spirit quest while your at it?

"No I need somthing evil, but cute and smart.

"How about The Evil Kitties Club?" Sallo asked rotating his shoulders.

"That's awesome! I love that name!" I said.

"You know I was kidding about that." He said surprised.

"So? I don't care, I like it. Now we need a room."

"But all rooms are already taken by some other clubs." Sallo informed.

"When I said we needed a room, I meant stealling a room from another club. I say, the chess club's room!" I said.

They both fell down and started on a useless speach on how stealling was wrong, and blah... blahblah... blablablablah... and other stuff that I don't remember and didn't pay much atention, as I walked towards the chess club's room. I opened the door and breaked in.

"Hya boys!" I yelled. All the geeks (god, I play chess, and so does Sallo, but neither one of us are geeks. I mean those guys were complete ones, with bracers,and tick glasses, and white shirts with pocket protections! What is this? Another teen movie?!) looked at us.

"A girl!" I heard one of them say in devotion in the back of the room. I fell down, oh god!

"Guys, I need your club room! And by need I mean GIVE IT TO ME!" I peacefully growled.

Sallo behind me shaked his head. "Very subtile Darka, very subtile!"

I looked at him. The geeks started laughing and looked at us.

"No way! A mere female as you cannot understand the complexion of leading a club."

"Why you little sexist fools!" I growled as i started kicking their derriers.

Sallo held me. "Let it go, this is probably the first time they talk to a girl anyway."

Both me and Lumina started laughing at what he said. Suddenly I stoped and looked at Lumina.

"What if I get you a chance to go out with my sister?!" I asked the club leader. His eyes shined.

"What?!" My sister asked.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes. Gimme your club room and all of you can go on a date, right now, with my sister!"

Didn't took them to much the grab all they stuff and flee out of the room dragging my sister behind, while i happily swayd around the room's key. I can imagine the lines up to date her. Mwhaha! Oh well. Sallo cleaned the room and tomorrow we're going to start our activities! Now I can put my plans in march!

"I spent the whole day serial dating GEEKS cause of you!" Lumina yelled in my ear right now. Well, i'm gonna beat her for yelling in my ear. She should thank me though, if it wasn't for me she would have never had a date in her life!

I LOVE the new chapter. I like how she says, "What is this? A rpg?"

rofl!!! this is soooo hilarious!!!! i love it!!

lol this is soooo funneeeeh!! good job!

Sorry it's taken me soo long to update thse things... but i've been having a bad writters block. Anyway, new entry here.

The computer The fre#&€ HE KISSED LEVARDA!!!!!

Today as i arrived to our club room i heard Sallo's voice singing:

"Oh what a beautifull day. Oh what a beautifull world. We must apreciate this, cause this is a wonderfull world."

I must say, he has a nice singing voice, but the music sucks! Then I opened the door hapilly,and with a smirk in my face i announced (even though it wasn't actually needed, cause with the noise i made, they all saw me).

"I'm here!" I shouted.

"You had a bad day. You sing a sad song, and... something something... lying around."

I looked at Sallo annoied. So i gave him a bad day? Plus i think he got the lyrics wrong.

I threw my bag at him and hit my fists on the table.

"Our club needs an activity!"

"You don't say." Sallo said annoyingly.

"I know. We shall work to make me famous!" I said with a evil laugh.

"Ye right. Keep dreaming." Sallo said. I hit him with a mortal calendar.

"We need a computer to start our club activities!" Then i looked up raising my fists. "Then, world domination will be in my grasp!"

"What are you? A rpg villan?" Sallo asked. I looked at him and hugged my sister who passed by me.

"No my dear Sallo. That would be too clichê! I'm more of a James Bond Villan." I bit my sister's ear, and Sallo looked at me freaked out.

"Neh! Darka! That's gross!"

"Ah shut up you whimp!" I let go of my sister.

"So where are we going to get a computer?" Sallo asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked smiling. "We're gonna steal one!"

"Why does everything as to be ilegal with you?" Sallo asked as he saw me putting two bags on the table. It's not that making ilegal stuff is good, and i don't do it to harm people. It's just easier to get stuff that way, plus, if i'm gonna be the goddess of darkness, i better act like one and be the evil mistress of badoooooom!

"There's no such place as Badoom Darka!" Annoying sister. I've to start writting with invisible ink. Anyway, back to the happenings of today.

I opened the bag and took out two sexy animal outfits, a cat and a rabit. I looked at my sister and smirked as i threw the bunny outfit at her.

"It's dress up time!" I smiled at my sister who looked at me scared. I tackled her down and started pulling off her dress. "I need ur help Lumina, so stop fighting!"

Sallo paralized for a second there watching me trying to take off my sister's dress, then when i finally achieved it he freaked out and ran out of the room. Now i think he's gay! He had a perfect chance to see one of the cutest girls in school topless and he runs out of the room, noble people are so stupid. Anyway, i finally acieved to change me and my sister and we opened the door. Sallo was seated outside texting on his cell.

"What you think?!" I asked with a smirk showing our cute outfits.

"Decided to raid the earthen playboy mansion Darka?" He asked lifting his eyebrow, looking me straight in the face. Oh My gush!!! All the other guys in the halls looked straight at mine and my sister's legs, praticly drooling all over the floor, cause of our clothes, he looks at me in the eys, doesn't even bother to look at my chest or legs, like any sane or insane straight man would do, and just stares at me blankly! He's defenetly gay! What a waist of a good hot man!

"He's not gay Darka." Annoying sister.

"How do you know?" How does she know?

"Easy. I saw him kissing Levarda in the mouth today, after our... computer adventure."

"YOU SAW WHAT?!" I can't belive it! He kissed Levarda? But she's so... eww! She's a bravery goddess! She's even lamer than my sister! Not it can't be!

"Are you ok Darka?"

I'm fine, never been better. Anyway me and my sister used our costumes to get the informatic geeks to give us the computer.

Hehe. Now I've to find some dirt about Levarda, no way that lame goddess is gonna take away my Joshua Sallo! He's my light spirit.

"Sis. You could always be nicer to him."

No way!! I'm the goddess of darkness. I'm nice to noone!

"You're gonna regret it. Soon."

Ye, ye. Anyway... i'm gonna go to bed. What i had to tell today lost the interest.

****

What awaits Darka? Levarda ain't just the bravery goddess.

This fanfic is very funny! Can't wait untill you're next update!

NightMelody, this is amazing. AM-AZ-ING. Update soon.

im lovin this story! i can't wait 4 an update

I AM A REAL GIRL AND YES I LIKE PINK! Although this story is absolutely hysterical and well written, I took some of the writing a little... personally *cries*

?? its good and funny ^_^ . whats happening to trendy twins?

I don't know what's happening to me This story deserves my reward for best things on this site:

Trendytwins, i've no interest of offending noone with this story. Though i know it has some... little hard stuff in it. If i offend anyone with it, i'm sorry. Don't take anything here personally! I myself am a geek (not like the ones descrived there... those were to be a bit exagerated) and i also like pink (though i prefer purple).

Sorry taking so long but i'm having alil problems in my life corrently... so... haven't been with alot of mood to write... sorry. Anyway, here's the new entry on Darka's diary.


Vacations!!! Woohoo!!
"You really have to stop playing sims 2!" Ok. And my sisters needs to stop reading my diary! Sheesh!

Besides that, it's "yupii" and "hurrai" kind of "Woohoo", no the kind of woohoo sims do. You must be wondering how i got a mortal game, let me explain how i got The sims 2.

It started a saturday morning. I was walking to Academy of spirits and gods of my realm so we could go back to our activities in the club.

"You sure you saw him kiss her on the mouth?" I asked my sister.

"Yes, i saw him kiss her." My sister answered for the fifth time.

"You sure it was a boyfriend girlfriend kind of kiss?" I asked once more.

"Look, Darka. Last time i checked, brothers, cousins, uncles and nieces and best friends don't kiss on the mouth. So yes, i am sure it was a boyfriend girlfriend kind of kiss!"
I sighed. "But didn't he had a crush on you?"

"Yes he did. But I explained him that even though he was a hunk of a man, he was a spirit and i am goddess, therefore my interest for him is close to nothing." My sister

explained.

Racist. The only difference between spirits gods is that gods are born this way, while spirits are vborn alive then die and turn into this. I mean it's discrimination, they're

divinities just like us!

"Since when are you a defender of human rights? Aren't you suposed to be the evil mistress of Badoom?" She asked me. She really has to stop reading what i write. Anyway back to it.

"When did he asked you out?" I asked.

"The day before you decided to make him your man slave."

"Wha..?! And you just tell me now!?" I grabed my sister and started shaking her crazy. If this was an anime i would appear with giat crazy eyes and a mad vain in my head, i my

head would be use and i would have vampire like teeth.

"Ahh! Stop! I'm gonna tell mom you're bullying me again!" I left go of her.

We arrived at the club, Sallo wasn't there yet. My sister sat at the table doing her homework and i opened the laptop to start working on my website. After a boringly annoying

while trying to get the stupid java script working (i really need to learn scripting), I closed the comp and looked at the door that opened. Sallo appeared behind it.

"Good morning." He said with a smile.

"You're late!" I informed. He fell down.

"God. I come with great news and you give me a cold shoulder." He said getting up. Lumina shaked her head sadly.

"What news?" I asked.

"I'm great, thanks for asking." He said with a smirk.

"I didn't asked." I replyed, he fell down again. Lumina looked at me with an expression: "Be nicer to him!"

I smiled alil and looked at him. "So what news you bring us?"

"I won us a trip to the planet Earth." He said. I lifted my eyebrow. "So we're all going to Earth!" He said excited. My sister yelled in excitment. I just looked at them with

my eyebrow raised up.

"Earth?! Oh my mom! That planet is so lame! It's filled with ignoramus earthling human that don't even belive in magic anymore! They're so lame!"

Sallo looked at me with a dead expression. "Hey! I used to be earthling! Are you calling me a lame?!" He asked.

Ooops. I didn't knew he was earthling. I rubbed my head trying to find out an escuse. "Huh. I wasn't talking about you." I said laughing embaressed.

"Oh, and for the record, i was one of those ignoramus earthling humans who didn't belived in magic." He said, then he turned thoughtfull. "Till i died at least, then Darkon gave

me a second chance and i started beliving in magic then."

"Darkon?" Me and my sister asked.

He smiled at us. "That's who we're going to meet with. Darkon is my brother, short of saying." He explained. He has a brother? Ok, i knew he didn't had spiritual parents, but a spirit brother?

"Is he cute?" I asked, Sallo fell down.

"Is that the only thing you think about?!" He asked.

My sister gigled alil, she was wondering the same.

"Is he a spirit?" She asked.

"No, he's a death god." My sister lifted both her eyebrow.

"But isn't Death, the only death lord?" She asked. Sallo sighed.

"I'm messing with you. He's a half death angel, half darkness spirit." He explained.

"Is that even genetecly and spirituallty possible?" I asked lifting my eyebrow.

"How do you do that?" He asked looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"How do you lift only one eyebrow?" I fell down.

Ok, after clearing everything, we came back home to pack. My mom seemed excited for seeing me leaving the house, palace, realm, thing... Maybe because that means if i bust

something it will be someone else's responsability to take care. I'm not that troublesome or annoying. Yes i create some havocks in people's lives and also make some disasters, but usually i fixe everything after it, if they make me do it. We departured to the Inter Realm Portal, aka IRP and went to Earth.

"We're officially in vacations!" Sallo informed.

"Buyaaaah!!" I yelled. "It was about time i got some deserved rest!"

"What deserved rest? I'm the one who does all the work!" Sallo complained.

"Shut it man slave!" I replyed. My sister smacked her forehead.

"Sallo-sama!!" A female voice yelled.

I looked towards it and the whole universe colapsed right infront of me! Hell was set free, demons ravaged the face of the Earth, saints cried blood, humanity was torned apart, stars died sinking the universe into eternal darkness and...

"Hi Levarda!" Sallo said. "I forgot to tell you. Levarda is going to spend this vacations with us!"

... And the lame bravery goddess is going to spend vacations with us. Crap!

God i can't belive this! And i was thinking i was going to have some nice vacations, on a new planet, with Sallo (and my annoying sister, but i can lock her in the closet, so no biggy.), for him to get to know me better. But noooo. He had to bring her along.

"Hi Lumina, hi Darka!" She said with a smile and run to the three of us and jumped to Sallo glomping him. My sister looked at me with a freaked out look at me and she smiled scaredly, i smirked deviously and she startled stepping away.

She and him got up and smiled at us."So lets go to our hotel." Levarda said smiling. "I own it, so i guess you'll be bossing my employes around."

"Everyone is already bossed around by me, so it doesn't really matter." I replyed. "Ain't that right Sallo?"

He groaned.

We arrived at a seaside hotel and picked the master suits for ourselves, i made myself confortable in my suit.

Oh someone is knocking on the door... brb.

Ok this was freaky. Levarda knocked at my door, i opened and left her in.

"I've heard my boyfriend is your 'man slave'." She said. "What does he do as a man slave?"

"Huh... basicly all the clubs work."

"You've a club?" She asked.

"Yes. The evil kitties club." I answered.

"Can i enter?" She asked.

I lifted my eyebrow. "No."

She walked to me and pinned against a wall.

"A piece of advise Darka, stay away from my boyfriend." I looked at her surprised. "I don't need to be a darkness goddess to become a nightmare!"

She turned around and left. Ok... That freaked me out. Maybe i should tell Sallo that his girlfriend isn't as sweet and she seems.

"Like he would belive you."

My sister has her point. I'm gonna leave now. Cya tomorrow.