I know that religion-related topics can get nasty, which is why I waited this long to ask for advice. But it's really been bugging me, so I need to ask someone, anyone.

I've been best friends with this girl since the 5th grade, and I'm now in the 9th grade. So, after 4 years of being what I thought was "bf"s, you would think that I would know all the important things. Not quite.

I've known for a while now that her religion does not allow her to celebrate holidays. However, I didn't really know that much about different religions, and I figured it was no biggie.

Then, about a month ago, her and her older sister made some comments about gays. Which irked me a lot, considering that the club that we're in (and they run) has a few bi girls in it.

Last Wednesday, it all kinda went into the crapper. She said that her and her family were Jehova's Witnesses. She then proceeded to explain that according to their belief, those who are not Jehova's Witnesses are "of the world" and will not be saved from some apocalypse she kept talking about. Not only that, but being friends with a non-believer would be just as bad.

So, basically, my best friend told me that unless I converted to a religion I knew nothing about, we couldn't be friends anymore. Don't get me wrong. She's been one of the few actual friends I've had since kindergarten. But it just seemed...I dunno..wrong, so I said no.

It didn't really end, though. Her sister joined in, and they both started talking about it more. They made the whole room so uncomfortable (by the way, I forgot to mention that they were doing this right in the middle of our club, where everyone else had to watch) that another kid joined in for a brief while after they said some things about atheists.

All of a sudden, this week she seems to be completely fine despite the fact that I turned her down. I know I should be relieved that my only good friend in this school is apparently still my friend, but I can't help but feel worried that she'll bring it up again.

I guess, more than anything, I'm angry. I can't help but ask myself why; why on Earth would she be friends with me for this long without making any statement about it before??

My question is this: what now? Vague, I know, but I have no idea whether or not I should make any effort to keep being her friend. All I know is that I cannot and will not be a part of another awkward conversation like the one at the club, yet I don't want to be in that position again, the one that I had to endure for 4 years: constantly being alone, with noone to talk to at school.

If you want to know where things stand, then you'll have to talk to her. Is there anytime in the day where it'll be just you two? That way you guys can just talk and you can explain everything to her.

Ugh, religion.

I would pull her aside and speak to her personally, alone.

It could be her family is pressuring her to be more 'devout' and to keep up appearances (since sister was present both times she said something disparaging to gays and other religions/ideologies) she has to appear religious enough to reject nonbelievers.

Or it could be she really went off the deep end of religion and is as loyal as a robot is to it's programming. That would really suck as they generally don't come back unless they want to (meaning going through the very scary concept of rejecting your faith or parts of it voluntarily).

Either way, you'll need to know what's going on with her before you know one way or another.

As much as you want to avoid the awkward, talking about religion with this person will likely get awkward. Still, if you are her friend and want to keep the friendship, you will have to talk to her. Like the others said, see if you can talk to her alone.

See if you can figure out why the sudden change in her behavior.

Before you talk to her, though, I think you should do some research on her religion, and maybe even some others. Just so if she asks you to join and you refuse again, you'll be able to tell her why.

And if this really is a deal breaker in your friendship, then I am truly sorry.

Thanks, guys. I'll try to talk to her one-on-one when I can, which might take a while, since we only see each other occasionally at lunch and at the club.

@Ashen_Eclipse: I decided to look things up, and now I'm definetely sure that I can't say yes. The major deal-breaker was that you can't really go to college, or any sort of schooling after highschool that doesn't involve their Bible.

Also, I'm starting to think that their (meaning her and her sister) dad might have something to do with their change of attitude. Their mom passed a while ago, and while she didn't seem to change too much immediately after, she mentioned that her dad said some weird-sounding things afterwards.

I'm not sure where you looked it up, but that about no college or schooling after high school is not right

But you should not be considering becoming a Jehovah's Witness just to keep a friend. Something like that should only be done after you've researched - thoroughly - and decided that it's right for you, that you accept what they believe.

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This. So much.

That's one of the reasons I recommended researching other religions as well. Even if you limited yourself to Christianity, there are many different beliefs in the different branches of it.

But if the only reason you are considering religion is to keep your friend, then that isn't a good reason. If you believe in the religious teachings, or you think there is something greater than yourself out there and you want to explore that option, then that might be a better reason. But if you don't, then don't join. Particularly a religion that has a very firm and strict set of rules and values.

Still. Talk to your friend.

I don't know what your current beliefs are in regard to faith or God, and I'm not trying to say you have to have them or be religious or anything like that. So I hope I'm not coming across that way...

Careful with them jehovah witnesses: While I can't find much concerning schooling, one of their main beliefs is no blood transfusion of any kid, even in life or death situations. Certain sects are fine with it but the majority don't.

Also, wikipedia says they think homosexuality is a really bad sin, non-JWs are off-limits, husbands get the last word on everything, and that independent thinking is discouraged. ._.!!!!

Just like every other unpopular group, most of what you find online about Jehovah's Witnesses will be written by people who aren't Jehovah's Witnesses and have something against them, or think they know what they're about but really don't. Not really going to give you an unbiased view, are they?

So I'll just come right out and let you know I am one. So if you want to know the truth about what they believe and don't believe, either send me an email (I will not use Amanda's site to discuss my religious beliefs or be accused of using it to preach to anyone), or ask your friend straight out, rather than going off to some online site looking for information.

Honestly, your friend will be happy to tell you anything you want to know, and if she thinks about it carefully, she would not ask you to adopt her beliefs unless it's something you'd thought through very carefully and had made up your own mind, for the right reasons.

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Just like every other unpopular group, most of what you find online about Jehovah's Witnesses will be written by people who aren't Jehovah's Witnesses and have something against them, or think they know what they're about but really don't. Not really going to give you an unbiased view, are they?


What shaz said. It's a stupid idea to research any religion on the net without reading it yourself first.
For example, I can refute all of what is written on many Muslim-hate sites. Christians can do the same. So can Jews.
However, if you haven't read their scripture before reading these sites, you'll just say, "It's false."

Folks, I'm going to lock this one because I think it might end up in a bunch of hurt feelings.

On the last note, I'm sure most of us have met folks in our own circles who are less tolerant of outsiders. Be it our religion, race, or gender, it's the person, not the group that is to blame for intolerance.

I'd also like to point out that while something may seem strange to you, I guarantee that there is something you do that is strange to someone else! For example, who in the world decided that cooked carrots were a good idea? They're banned from my house! I'll never understand why so many people like them.

Soooo... M0n0chr0me, it sounds like your friend is going through some pretty important events in her life, and to top that off, she recently lost her mother. The two of you definitely need to talk this out. Being alone sucks, but it sounds to me like both of you need to set boundaries for one another, else the friendship won't be much fun for either of you.