Before writing this story, I was actually planning an RP, but since managing one is difficult, I decided to make it into a story.

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Prologue

The man watched the scenery from the rooftop. It was chaotic.
*
The city that was once busy and full of life now remains nothing but a battlefield.
*
It has never been a peaceful city to begin with, he recalled, but was, at least, a place you can live in- a place you can enjoy your lives- a place you can feel safe in.
*
And now? All that can be seen are houses and buildings that have been destroyed, scattering its debris everywhere. The grounds were stained with blood, and killing is no longer considered a crime.
*
“Still can’t believe this is Altair, can you Shiryu?” a voice asked from behind.
Shiryu nodded silently, not even considering to turn and face his companion.
*
Altair. The name of his hometown- his country. A once small yet rich country.
It’s hard to believe that the image could be ruined, in just a few months.
*
“Things sure changed quickly” Shiryu remarked, “Far too quickly”
His companion stood next to him, agreeing, before asking suddenly, “Say, if you can get a wish granted, what would you wifh for?”
Shiryu merely shrugged.
Then he replied, “Peace, perhaps? It would be nice if people still remember it”
*
What is peace anyway? How does it feels like to be at peace?
A feeling he had never experience, or- if he had- has forgotten.
*
The fellow soldier just shrugged. “Peace, huh? I guess you’re right....”
“I’m always right” Shiryu whispered, half to his companion, half to himself.
“What?”
“An opinion is never wrong, is it?” he said, “Let’s go. It’s no use wasting our time here”
*
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That's all for now. I don't think the intro's really nice, though. Anyways, let me know if this is worth continuing.

Hi, Adept_Rogue! This is definitely worth continuing - it's a very interesting start. Where will they go from here???

oooh. Sounds intriging. Please do continue

It's nice. Definitely interesting. Waiting for more, dude! Cheers.

@Qwillie: Well, those 2 were soldiers, so it will make more sense if we assume that they're going back to their HQ.

Anyways, thanks. I'll update this as soon as possible (but since my class almost start, it won't be right now)

Good luck with class, and looking forward to an update when you have time!

AWESOME beginning you make me jealous lol I wish I could write like you do.It is a great beginning thank you again

well nice start.. liked the prologue... for a change i hope its a story of peace.. and waiting eagerly for update

Howdy. Fancy YOU writing a story. Always thought you were the manga/doujin type. But here I am making doujins and you writing stories.

Keep it up!! I wonder how it will turn out

@daeva_agas: Well, I want to make a manga out of this too, but since drawing is a longer process than writing, it will have to wait. (Until I'm done with exams and projects, at the least)

Mwahahaha. Wonderful

Writing is so much faster than drawing all right. Can write in class and get 1 full page. draw in class get a page equivalent of half a page of writing.

@daeva agas: yeah, right
Alright, here's the update. Let's hope it's as good as the introduction.

Chapter 1- Area 0

Tyranny- a misused power, the core of the chaos that is happening.

Chaos is never supposed to be long-lasting, unless someone purposely does so.
Altair was in ruins, and all started from one person. A man, named Fergus- a tyrant, a thief, a hypocryte. He has a power, yet misused it. In his hands, the country was no longer the place it should be, but, instead a disastrous zone.

Blood spilled from all direction, as bodies collapsed on the ground.
The area piled with corpses of people who died barely a few hours ago. Very little part of the ground were not stained with blood.
An army unit, barely ten in number, stood among the piles of dead bodies and the pools of blood. All of them wore navy uniforms, and each were armed with at least a gun and were fully equipped. It was obvious that everyone of them are elite soldiers.
“This area is cleared” announced one, “Send someone to get rid of this mess later- we need to move on”
The others agreed. Putting away their weapons, they went towards another section.
It wasn’t long before one of them abruptly halted his advance. His companions glanced at him. “What are you doing, eto? We are done here”
The man called ‘eto’ didn’t answer. Instead, he pulled one of the assault rifles that hung on his back and aimed at one corner of the area.
“Hey, are you nuts?” complained his companion impatiently, “Hurry up!”.
Before anyone else could add anymore complaints, two people collapsed, joining in the pile of corpses.
“Now we’re done” Eto said, turning to the others, with his gun raised. The two he had just killed have been hiding in the corner, hoping to be able to attack them while they’re unaware.
His companions quickly understood what has happened and saluted at him, before leaving the place.

Nasty sounding killing, but looking forward to seeing what's next! Good thing eto was paying attention, huh?

Good one. Though... Here comes pointless grammar tips...

-A man, named Fergus
-but, instead
Remove comma after "man" and "but"

After a direct speech you need punctuation marks, right before the end quotation mark. If the speech was like this: "bla bla bla" X said, you put a comma before the end quotation mark. If the speech is right before the sentence ends, you need a full stop before the end quotation mark. Like this: "Bla bla bla."

This:
“This area is cleared” announced one, “Send someone to get rid of this mess later- we need to move on”

should have looked like this:“This area is cleared,” announced one, “Send someone to get rid of this mess later- we need to move on.”

Don't put full stop if there's already another punctuation inside the quotation mark. This is what you did:
“Hurry up!”.
Get rid of that full stop.


(Sok menggurui mode over)

Interesting story.Alot different from what I have been seeing.I will say you had me captivated by the prologue and now I am more entranced in the story so keep posting more when you are able to please

@daeva_agas: well, thanks for the grammar tips, but MS WOrd didn't detect any grammatical errors when I typed this (I've used the English U.S as its language, so it should, if there's any mistakes)

@daeva_agas: well, thanks for the grammar tips, but MS WOrd didn't detect any grammatical errors when I typed this (I've used the English U.S as its language, so it should, if there's any mistakes)

NOTE: I don't knolw what the hell is wrong with this computer. First, the page won't load, and when it DOES load, it posted 2 identical posts at once

Because MS Word SUCK. I know I use sentences with weirdo sentence patterns for my Silli Writng and it doesn't detect grammatical errors too. as long as it's not a fragment or an error that is SO obviously wrong, it won't detect.

I should know. I once wrote an essay and Word doesn't detect any grammar errors, but when the teacher corrected it, there were too many grammar errors that he stopped correcting half way through because it's the same mistake repeated too much. Stupid Microsoft... *grumble*

ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm currently working on the cover art for this story, so the next update will be delayed (I've written the 1st half of the next chapter, but it's not done yet).