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|Failed Inventions of the Aveyond Idiots||#1|
Prologue: Dameon the Inventor
One day, Dameon decided to become an inventor. Everyone advised agiainst it, but he did anyway. These are the stories of his creations...
Posted on: 2011/3/27 12:14
|Dameon's Failed Inventions: Chapter 1||#2|
Chapter 1: Sun Priest Zit Cream
Dameon overhears Rhen saying she needs some zit cream. He goes into his workshop for a few days, and then comes out.
Dameon: I have invented the ultimate zit cream! Just rub some on your cheeks and it affects your whole body!
Rhen: Let me try it!
Rhen rubs the cream on her cheeks...
Dameon: Well? What do think?
Rhen looks in the mirror and screams. She's covered with zits, pimples, and blemishes!
Rhen: I thought you said this would remove zits!
Dameon: Zit creams are to get rid of zits?! If only I had known that before I made this cream!
Rhen glares at Dameon.
Posted on: 2011/3/27 12:26
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#3|
It's a funny idea, but it needs more detail. Too short.
Posted on: 2011/3/27 12:39
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#4|
Well, each chapter is sort of like a short story. Altogether, they're much longer.
Posted on: 2011/3/27 14:30
|Dameon's Failed Inventions: Chapter 2||#5|
Chapter 2: Have a Smelly Birthday!
Dameon walks through Thais, trying to decide what to give Rhen for her birthday. He passes by two girls, one foul-smelling, and walks up to them.
Dameon: Excuse me, girls.
The girls exchange nervous glances; Dameon is the king and the Light Druid, after all.
Girl #1: Of course, your Holy Majesty. Why wouldst thou craveth a moment of our common time?
Dameon: What'd she say?
Girl #2: She said, "Sure, King Dameon. Why do you ask?"
Dameon: Oh. Well, why does she smell like that?
Girl #2: He doth question thee, "Prithee, why doth thou give off thy aroma?"
Girl #1: Ah, 'tis merely mine aromatic potion. Every maiden doth wanteth a portion.
Girl #2: She says, "It's my perfume. Every girl wants some."
Dameon: Oh, okay. Thanks, Random Girl Who Speaks All Old-Timey(RGWSAOT)!
Dameon runs off to his workshop.
RGWSAOT: Prithee didst he sayeth?
Girl #2: The words he didst speaketh were: "Ah, 'tis true. Thanketh thee, Unknown Maiden Who Doth Speaketh the Words of Olde."
Dameon works in his workshop for a few hours.
Rhen's Birthday Party
Te'ijal: Open my present next, Uplander.
Rhen unwraps Te'ijal's gift.
Rhen: My very own fangs! Thanks, Tei'jal.
Dameon: Now open mine!
Rhen unwraps the gift.
Rhen: Perfume! Thanks, Dame-
Rhen opens the bottle. Lars pukes. Elini, and Pirate John gag and run off. Galahad turns white. Te'ijal grins, smells the perfume, wrinkles her nose in disgust, and drags Galahad away. Rhen gags, turns white, and faints.
Mad Marge: Why'd everybody leave? Are they trying to find perfume as great-smelling as yours, Rhen?
Mad Marge notices that Rhen is unconsious, shrugs, and walks away. Dameon wakes Rhen up.
Rhen: That perfume smells like a dead skunk dipped in the toilet!
Dameon: I know, isn't it great?
Rhen: PERFUME IS SUPPOSED TO SMELL GOOD!!
Dameon: Oh. Well, happy birthday!
Rhen glares at Dameon.
Posted on: 2011/3/27 15:10
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#6|
That was better than chapter one. Definately better. Funnier, too.
Posted on: 2011/3/27 15:17
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#7|
Thank you very much. Nice Av2 Parody, by the way.
Posted on: 2011/3/27 15:36
|Dameon's Failed Inventions: Chapter 3||#8|
Chapter 3: Going Up
Dameon notices the birds in the air and gets an idea.
Dameon: Wait! I haven't gotten an idea yet! I need to look at the birds a little bit longer.
CAAAAT: Oh, sorry.
Dameon looks at the birds.
Three hours later...
Dameon stares at the birds.
CAAAAT: Haven't you gotten an idea yet?!?!
Dameon: Was I supposed to?
CAAAAT: *sigh* Wait a minute while I write a Random NPC in to help.
A random NPC appears out of nowhere and looks at the birds.
NPC: Gee, I sure wish I could fly like those birds.
The NPC, having served its purpose, vanishes.
Dameon: Hey, where'd he go?
CAAAAT: *sigh* Just go invent a flying machine.
Dameon: Good idea!
CAAAAT: That's why I'm writing this Fan-Fic, while you're a character in it.
Dameon goes to his workshop.
Dameon comes out of his workshop the next morning with an odd machine.
Rhen: What's that, Dameon?
Dameon: It's a flying machine! Want to try it?
Rhen: Another invention? Yikes! I'm getting out of this story!
CAAAAT: I'm not going going to write you out of the story, Rhen. Just don't try it. I'll make that Dameon's responsibility.
Rhen: *sigh* Fine.
Rhen(directed at Dameon): Uh, no thanks. You can do that.
Dameon throws his invetion off a cliff.
Rhen: What did you do that for?!
The machine rises up and flies off into the sunset.
CAAAAT: Wait, why did I put the sunset in the morning? Oh, well. Bye, Rhen! Bye, Dameon!
Rhen: Wait... Bye?
Rhen and Dameon turn into avocados for no apparent reason.
CAAAAT *grinning*: That was fun.
Posted on: 2011/3/27 16:04
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#9|
i love this ill recomend this to others
Posted on: 2011/3/28 1:21
deviant art:http://samurottftw.deviantart.com/ <.<
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#10|
Thanks, I'll put Chapter 4 in my next post.
Posted on: 2011/3/28 14:27
|Dameon's Failed Inventions: Chapter 4||#11|
Chapter 4: Inventing the Invented
Dameon comes out of his workshop, carrying a cardboard box.
Rhen: You swear you wouldn't even write me into the story, if his invention were dangerous?
CAAAAT: Of course! Unless you were important to the plot, anyway.
Rhen: What was that last part?
CAAAAT: Nothing! I didn't say anything! Now get in the story!
Rhen enters the story.
Rhen: What have you got there, Dameon?
Dameon: Oh, nothing... just my greatest invention yet! It's a portable storage unit, made of a heavy duty, woodlike paper!
Rhen: That's a cardboard box. It's been invented.
Dameon: Darn! Well, back to the drawing board.
Dameon returns to his workshop for about a half-hour, then returns with a mirror.
Dameon: This is an even better invention! A handheld portal to a parallel universe where left and right are switched!
Rhen: That's a mirror. It's been invented too.
Dameon returns to his workshop. He comes back out in 15 minutes, holding a belt.
Dameon: It's a light strand of leather, used to hold up your pants, shorts or skirt!
Rhen: That's a belt.
Dameon: A miniature backpack that can be sewn to your pants or shirt?
Dameon: A bar of wood that be used as a weapon or to start a fire?
Dameon: A explosive red bar with a flaming wick at one side?
Rhen: That's dyna-
Rhen: Dameon! That's dynamite! Get rid of it before it-
Rhen: -explodes. CURSE YOU, CAAAAT!
Posted on: 2011/3/28 15:05
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#12|
LOL! That was definitely the best chapter yet. I love it!
Posted on: 2011/3/28 17:18
|Dameon's Failed Inventions: Chapter 5||#13|
Chapter 5: AAAAHHH!
Rhenbot: DIE, WRONGDOERS! DIE!!
Thaisian: It's the end of the world!
Time Master: Run for your lives!
The city of Thais is in complete chaos. Here's how it happened.
Earlier that day, Rhen had left on a trip to Veldarah.
Rhen: Now, Dameon, don't invent anything while I'm gone.
Rhen leaves and Dameon starts to feel lonely.
Five seconds later...
Dameon: I know! I'll build a Rhen Robot to keep me company while Rhen's gone!
Dameon goes into his workshop and builds a protective Rhenbot. He decides to also built robot primates to surprise Rhen.
Dameon: Now I'll activate Rhenbot, Monkeybot, Orangutron, Chimpanzeebot, and Apetron.
Dameon activates the robots...
Rhenbot: Die, wrongdoers! Die, villains!
Monkeybot, Orangutron, Chimpanzeebot, and Apetron: Must...destroy...everything...
The robots run out onto the street and attack the city.
Rhen walks back towards Thais.
Rhen: It's a shame my dragon hurt its wing, and its impossible to get a boatman on Saturday.
Rhen walks into Thais.
Rhen = +
Rhen destroys the robots and goes to the palace.
Dameon: Wow, thanks, Rhen! You took care of the doombots!
Rhen = +
Dameon: Uh oh...
Dameon screams and runs as Rhen chases him around the city.
Posted on: 2011/3/28 17:31
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#14|
@Elemental - Thanks. I like that one too.
Posted on: 2011/3/28 17:32
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#15|
LOL! Love the new chapters. ^^
Posted on: 2011/3/28 17:36
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#16|
Thank you again. It was originally going to be just the Rhenbot, but then I started thinking about doom monkeys. It eventually led to that.
Posted on: 2011/3/28 17:59
|Dameon's Failed Inventions: Chapter 6||#17|
Chapter 6: Raising Your SA
CAAAAT(C4AT): What's wrong, Dameon?
Dameon: Oh, it's just how smart I am. I don't fit in with regular society.
C4AT: Oh, you aren't that stu--I mean, you fit in well.
Dameon: You're just saying that to be nice...
C4AT: Yeah, no kidding. Well, maybe you could invent something to make you smart--I mean, less smart.
Dameon: No... I help mankind with my amazing smartness.
C4AT: Hmmm... Let me help.
C4AT types something on his keyboard. A lightbulb appears above Dameon's head.
Dameon: I know! Since I'm too smart for regular society, and I can't make myself less smart, I'll make regular society more smart!
Dameon runs off to his workshop.
C4AT: He's smart enough to think of a full explanation? Oh, wait... That's my fault... This is a 100-watt lightbulb. I meant to type a 20-watt. Oh, well.
C4AT goes on a vacation to Sedona.
Three hours later...
Dameon comes out of his workshop, holding a helmet.
Rhen: *sigh* I'm leaving, whether C4AT likes it or not.
Rhen vanishes and Talia appears.
Talia: Where's Devin? How did I get here?
Talia notices Dameon.
Talia: Oh, hi, Dameon. What have you got there?
Dameon: It's a brain-gain machine. It raises your SA.
Talia: Don't you mean your IQ?
Dameon: No, not your insolent quail. Your smartness amount. Here, try it on.
Talia puts on the helmet...
Talia: D-uh... I'm a pretty priestess-lady...
Dameon: Talia, how much is 2+2?
Talia: Doy-uh-duh-uh... 7 and 3 halfs...
Dameon concentrates, doing mental math.
Dameon: That's exactly right! It works!
Dameon goes around Thais, having everyone try on the helmet. They proceed to become horribly stu-- Dameon, if you put that on me, C4AT will turn you back into an avocado for spoiling the narration!
Dameon: He's on vacation!
So he will when he gets back! Now get back into the story before I call him.
Dameon returns to the story
Dameon: Hmmm... I've made everyone else smarter... Maybe I can do the same to myself, if that's possible. Then I could help mankind even more!
Dameon puts on the helmet.
Dameon: Darn! I don't feel any different. Oh, well. I'll just go around the world and make more people smart like me.
Voice: Oh, no you won't!
Dameon: Oh, dang. C4AT is back.
Dameon turns into a avocado while C4AT begins to fix the stupidity.
Meanwhile, in Sedona...
Galahad: I wonder why Dameon sent me this helmet. Oh, here's a note.
Galahad, this is an SA-increasing machine. Have everyone in Sedona (other that you, you don't need it) put it on. I'm trying to make the whole world as smart as us.
Galahad: A smartness amount-increaser? I've been getting a little bit rusty lately...
Galahad puts on the helmet.
Galahad: That's strange. I don't feel any different.
Posted on: 2011/3/31 19:49
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions||#18|
I like it.
Insolent Quail. XD
Posted on: 2011/3/31 19:54
|Re: Dameon's Failed Inventions (On Chapter 6)||#19|
Thanks! It was going to be inertia something, but I thought it should be something insolent, and there aren't too many animals starting with Q.
Posted on: 2011/3/31 19:59
|Dameon's Failed Inventions: Chapter 7||#20|
Chapter 7: Dameon Needs a Vacation
One day, Dameon came out of his workshop with two sticks, duct-taped together.
Rhen: *sigh* What is it this time, Dameon?
Dameon: It's my greatest invention yet! My two-sticks-duct-taped-together machine!
Rhen: Ummm... What does it do?
Rhen raises an eyebrow.
Dameon: Oh, well, back to the drawing board.
Two hours later...
Dameon comes out of his wokshop, holding a Bread with a Salmon tied to it.
Rhen: Now what?
Dameon: It's my Marine Wheat! It can be sold in Sedona, Spider corpses, and Ghalarah! Plus, it restores 325 Health, and allows bakers and fisherpeople to go into business together. The only downside is, it costs 205 gold, pus tax (tax=the price of string, to tie together the Salmon and Bread)
Rhen: That's a Bread with a Salmon tied to it.
Dameon: Really? I'll go invent something even better, then.
One hour later...
Dameon once more comes out of his workshop, this time holding a string with a Flame Scroll on one end.
Rhen: Let me guess. A FlameString. You can cast a Flame Spell on an enemy without burning your hand, or you can have quick access to the scroll by wearing the FlameString as a necklace or bracelet.
Dameon: How did you guess?
Dameon: How'd you do that? Did you eat one of my FlameStrings?
Rhen: These are useless inventions! Take a break from inventing for a little while or else!
Dameon: Or else what?
Rhen: Or else this: Dameon = = Rhen
Dameon: Oh, fine...
Dameon's break will be in Chapter 8.
Posted on: 2011/4/1 15:02
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