I've had this story in my head for a loooong while before I recently decided to register and post it here. This story would be parodying AV1 and making fun of every weird thing I found . Expect a lot of 4th wall breaking and outside references. Also, occasionally I would insert side stories, which are not included in the real story but entirely my own ideas.

And I'm perfectly aware of a communal parody thread, but I want to have my own. Sorry for my selfishness, but I don't mind if this thread is combined with that one.

The format would be as following:
Bold:The headlines for each chapter
Italic: For scene changes. Or what the characters are thinking if in dialogue.

I will begin on the next post

Rating: Strictly PG13.

no! its gr8 that sum 1 is happy to be in forums and do it 4 their and others happiness...

Opening

Somewhere in an unknown land known as the Dreamworld, located in a faraway land called Mysten Far and guarded by priestesses and the Dreamer (wait, that's not really unknown...well, whatever), a woman was running, chased by one of the chief demons, known as the Daevas.

Talia: Nooo...*huff**huff* Help!
Agas: You can't escape me, Dreamer!
Talia: No, get away from me! Pervert! Pervert!
Agas: I'm not a pervert! My master commands me to kill you. And while doing that, I also want to peek at your skirt and steal your underwear. See, I'm totally not a pervert!
Talia: That's what a pervert means!*reaches a dead end* Oh no!
Agas: Now you have nowhere to go. Just let me see the color of your underwear!
Talia: Never!*casts a spell*
Agas: Resisting, huh?*casts another spell first*
Talia: Ouch!*got hit, lying on the ground*
Agas: Perfect, now I can peek at her skirt! No, wait, she's dead? I'm not into necrophiliac, so I'm just gonna leave without ensuring if she's truly dead or not.I'm such a genius. *leaves*

A while later

Talia: Good, that pervert's gone, and he thinks I'm dead. I need some help *summons a butterfly*
Talia: Now, little friend, go and find me the Chosen One, as described in the prophecy while I'm busy fainting and not even trying to cast a healing spell. Go now!*faints*

And so the butterfly goes.

actually agas is a PERVERT!? underwear!?!?! this is the most crazy story...

Alright, I forgot a little how the opening goes, so forgive me for mistakes.

Chapter 1: The Chosen One

Remember the butterfly from last chapter? Well, now it has found its destination, a young girl in a secluded village called Clearwater because the water there is clear if it's not obvious enough.

Rhen: A butterfly? I'm gonna catch that! Gotcha!*catch*

And suddenly, Rhen is surrounded by light, and when she opened her eyes, she was in the not-so-unknown Dreamworld, with the Dreamer Talia lying near her!

Rhen: Whoa, where am I? Huh, a woman?Is she dead?
Talia: ZZZZzzZZZZzzZZZ *snores*
Rhen: ...I think not. What should I do?
Talia: ZZzz...*yawn* Ahhh, that was a good sleep!*notices Rhen* Ah, the Chosen One! Quick, take me to the portal!
Rhen: Wh-what! Who are you? Why did you just order me around?
Talia: There's no time! Look, I'm wounded!
Rhen: No, you're not! You just snored very loudly!
Talia: I AM WOUNDED! Now, listen and take me to the portal!
Rhen: Bu..
Talia: Just do it, darnit!
Rhen: Er,fine *drags Talia*
Talia: Ouch, that's not how you treat wounded people!

And after they stepped in, they were back at the village with the clear water, Clearwater.

Rhen: Whoa, we're back! And since this woman said she's wounded, I better take her to Pa. *drags Talia to her house*
Talia: Hey, hey, hey!Oww!!

Rhen's House

Rhen: Pa! I found a weird woman who said she's wounded even though she's not!
Rhen's Pa: Umm, but dear, she IS. Just look at her.
Talia: *full of scratches* THAT'S BECAUSE SHE DRAGGED ME HERE!!
Rhen's Pa: *gulp* Talia!
Talia: Oh, hi, Tailor.
Rhen: You know each other?
Rhen's Pa: Yeah, but that was a long time ago. Now, we better treat her first! Take her to my bed, dear.
Rhen: Sure thing. *drags Talia...again*
Talia: Oh, stupid kid.

Pa and Ma's bedroom
Pa: Oh no, she has burn marks.
Rhen: Ooops, I guess she IS wounded after all, teehee.
Pa: Yeah, and you've made it worse. Now get the herbalist here.
Rhen: What? But she lives sooo far away from here!
Pa: *glares*
Rhen: Oh, well, I'm gonna get her.*goes away*

A moment later
Rhen: I'm back!
Dyonna: Hmmm, this is kinda serious. She has burns all over her body.
Pa: So, can we do anything?
Dyonna: Of course!*music began playing* Got yourself burnt? Afraid of fire? Fear no more! This Pigweed Salve will cure all damage caused by fire in a single night! Buy it now! Pigweed Salve, available at Dyonna's Herbal Shop!
Rhen: Wow, I must get one!
Dyonna: Sorry, it's only sold to NPCs. Playable characters only get Chickenweed Salve.
Rhen: Bummer.
Dyonna: Don't complain!At least you have faces when talking! We NPCs are stuck with sucky generic sprites!
Pa: Yeah, listen to her.
Rhen: ...Okay.
Dyonna: Well, I'll just give it to her and leave.*so she does*
Pa: You can continue playing, I'll looks after her.
Rhen: 'Kay. Now what should I do?
Ma: Oh, Rhen dear, will you please help me?
Rhen: Okay, Ma!What should I do?
Ma: Can you please take this basket and collect 5 Marionbells?
Rhen: What, five? Ma, that's practically all this village has! Do you want to make the Marionbell species extinct or what?
Ma: Do you want to do it or not? *smiles, but her fingers are pointing to a large empty sack*
Rhen:.....Okay. Better not try to get put into the sack

Meadow

Rhen: 1,2,3,4...Only four. Now where can I find the last one? If I return now then...*shudder*
Boy: There's a Marionbell over there!
Rhen: There it is, by the river. But it's on the opposite side.
Boy: I want to get it but I can't!
Rhen: Now the easiest way for me would be to swim across the river, but since nobody in this game can swim, I guess I'll just go through that cave.*goes and picks it up*
Boy: Wait, that's mine!
Rhen: Sorry, generic-nameless-NPC-boy, but this one's MINE!*evil laugh* Oh, and enjoy whining about this Marionbell repeatedly over and over for the next one year! *evil laugh, again*

On the way home
Rhen: Hi, Danny!
Danny: Hi, Rhen! Are you collecting Marionbells for the festival tomorrow.
Rhen: Yeah, see you later, one of my future husbands!
Danny: Huh, what?
Rhen: Oh, never mind. Bye.

Rhen's house
Rhen: Here they are, Ma!
Ma: Good girl. Now go to bed, it's getting dark.
Rhen: Wha..it's still bright outside!*points at the sky*
The sky:*the sun sets and the moon rises really quickly*
Rhen:*sweatdrops* Oh, fine. Nighty night!

Just as she drifted into her sleep, a completely new life awaits Rhen.


Next update probably would be tomorrow or the day after.

Oh, and I'm trying to make all the characters as twisted as possible for the sake of humor. In fact, I'm thinking that the only sane characters in this story would be Galahad and Indra. Everyone else would be crazy (well, not all, only the important ones. I can't afford to twist the character of minor NPCs, you know)

INDRA!? why INDRA!? shes not exactly crazy!!! shes my fave demon!

lol - at one point I thought Rhen's father said they should beat Taila (instead of treat) - I think your twisted plot is getting to me XD.

Hahaha I like Agas being a pervert!

Your story is hilarious I love it.

ITS FUNNY I LIKE UR STORY BUT THE MOST ILIKE IS AGAS BEING A PERVERT ITS SO FUNNY

Wow, I didn't expect Agas being a pervert would be so popular. Too bad he won't appear again for a long time. Thanks for reading, guys!

Also, I forgot some of the details for some events, so I might change a thing or two.

Btw, I want to conserve Ahriman's craziness for the final fight, so he's gonna be normal for now...maybe.

Chapter 2: Sold As A Slave

Somewhere in the Demon Realm

Agas: I'm back, master! And I've killed the Dreamer. Too bad I didn't got to peek at her skirt.
Ahriman: Are you sure she's dead?
Agas: Yes, of course.
Ahriman: How did you know? Have you checked yet?
Agas: No, I didn't. But I know she's dead.
Ahriman: How?
Agas: Because I'm a non-pervert genius.
Ahriman: I'm not so sure. Come here, the-ice-girl-with-a-thunder-god-name!
The-ice-girl-with-a-thunder-god-name (TIGWATGN): *appear* Would you mind NOT calling me with that name, master?
Ahriman: No, that's too awesome of a nickname to pass up.
TIGWATGN: *sigh* Whatever..I'll forgive because you're my master. But YOU *points at the screen* yeah, YOU! My name is Indra, not TIGWATGN!!
Indra: Now, that's much better.
Ahriman: So, TIGWATGN, I want you to check if the owner of this hair is still alive or not. *take a string of Talia's hair from Agas' armor*
Agas: Oh, I didn't notice that hair.
Indra: Sure, master. *concentrates* Hmm..The owner of this hair is happily sleeping soundly in another person's house shamelessly.

Rhen's house

Talia: Achoo! Dammit, someone must be talking bad behind my back!

Back to the demon realm

Ahriman: Agas...*stares*
Agas: *speaking to himself* Damn, if I knew she was alive, I'd have stolen her underwear first! *notices Ahriman's stare* Oops, I mean, sorry, sir. Hahaha...
Ahriman: *sigh* Never mind, I've already got a backup plan. Now, I summon all the daevas!
Indra: Hmm, what's this white string *examines*
Agas: Hey, that's-
Indra: This is from my underwear! No wonder it's so loose! Agas, YOU!! *runs after Agas*
Agas: Ahh, help! *runs*
Ahriman: *sweatdrop* Am I gonna be alright?

A while later

All the daevas are gathered together, with Agas' face being completely beaten up.

Ahriman: Now we'll hold a meeting on how to destroy the world for utterly no reason at all beside for us being evil! But first, I'll introduce our new member, a human who wants to become daeva! Come in!
Dameon: *appears* Hi,hi!
All the daevas: A Sun Priest???
Ahriman: Even better, a druid and the son of the Dreamer. He'll be our spy.
Agas: WHAT?? THAT TOTALLY HOT CHICK HAS A SON THIS BIG!?! But, are you sure he won't aid his hot mother instead?
Dameon: NO! I hate mommy! She killed daddy! I wanna make her cry! CRY!CRY!
Daevas: *sweatdrops*
Agas: Uh...okay. But how do you do that? I might volunteer if it involves stealing her underwears
Dameon: *in a deep, dark tone* Do not worry, daeva. It will not trouble you at all. I have already commanded some slave traders to capture her and sold her as a slave.
Agas: Fine, then. But what's with the sudden change of attitude?
Dameon: I do not comprehend what are you talking about.
Agas: Never mind, then.
Ahriman: Now, my loyal attendants! Go and spread havoc all over the world! Steal the souls of the druids guarding this land!

And so they do. Meanwhile..

Clearwater

Rhen:*wakes up* Ahh, what a beautiful sleep. What a weird dream, a strange priestess and all.
Talia: Good morning.
Rhen: Gyaahhh!!! The priestess!!
Talia: My name is Talia, and I'm not just an ordinary priestess. I'm the Dreamer.
Rhen: Dreamer? So, like you got that nickname cause you feel asleep in class the whole time?
Talia: No, idiot!! It means I'm kind of a druid of Dreams.
Rhen: Druid? Dreams? I do not comprehend.
Talia: That's not important right now. Just take this ring with you.
Rhen: Why? You could at least give some explanation.
Talia: NO EXPLANATION! Just take it, son of a brat! *shoves ring into Rhen's finger* And be sure to keep it on all the time!
Rhen: You have a beautiful mouth for a priestess, you know?
Pa: *downstairs* Rhen, come out! Don't you want to enjoy the festival!
Rhen: Okay, Pa!

Clearwater outside

Rhen: Woohoo! The festival!
Danny: Hello, Rhen.
Rhen: Hello, Danny *blush*.
Danny: Peter wanted to ask you if you want to bug some sheeps. I'd want to, but mom is gicing me too much chores.
Rhen: Bug some sheep? Hell Yeah! Er, I mean, of course I want to.
Danny: Okay, then. See ya, have fun!
Rhen: Seeya.

Peter: So, Rhen, wanna come?
Rhen: Sure thing.
Peter: Okay, let's go!

In the caves

Rhen: Uhh, it's so dark here!
Slave trader1: Gotcha! *catches Rhen*
Rhen: Ahhh! Who are you? Pervert!
ST1 : We're not perverts. We just want to peek at your skirt and st-, wait, do I just had a deja vu?
ST2: Wait are you sure it's her?
ST1: Yes, she's wearing the priestess ring. She must be the priestess.
Rhen: Wait, they think I'm that Sleeper druid?. Yeah, yeah, I'm the priestess, now let go of me or I'll destroy you with my holy power!
ST2: Like hell that'd work. Look, we have a magic-sealing bracelet in your arm.
Rhen: Ohhh, #%$^^##^^&%$*))&%#^!!!!
ST1: And I heard the priestess also has a bad mouth. This must be her.
Rhen:Me and my big mouth!
ST2: Anyway, we're gonna kidnap you and make you a slave!
Rhen: Noooo!

Rhen was kidnapped. She was taken from her homeland to the Eastern Lands. How will her tale continue?


Yeah, only Agas and Indra talks, but I want the other daevas' personality to be a surprise. Next chapter will introduce Lars. Regarding my comment about Indra being the only sane daeva, now I don't think she's as normal now. But she's definitely saner than the others. Btw, I haven't decided how Aesma's personality will be. Inputs would be nice.

XD this is really funny! from the last chapter i like this part:
"Rhen: Dreamer? So, like you got that nickname cause you feel asleep in class the whole time?
Talia: No, *****! It means I'm kind of a druid of Dreams."

a HILARIOUS story. and everyone knowing that there in a screen is so funny! i fell out of of my chair i promise!

Rhen will be fight with perverts! Agas, slave trader, who next?
this story is GREAT

I love it all! So funny you have quite the imagination, don't you?

I've considered to make the chapters shorter. I don't really like writing too much in one post. Lars will appear on the next chapter.

Chapter 3 : Spider, oh, spiders

After being captured by the slave traders, our heroine Rhen was taken to the other half of the world, the Eastern Isle. Although by half I mean quarter since there are probably more continents on the back of the world. Stupid Aia never consistent with its planet (no offense here OK). Anyway, it has been 3 months since Rhen became a slave.


Alarm : RIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!
Rhen: *smacks alarm clock* Umm, 5 more minutes...
Alarm : RRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!
Rhen: Shut up, not now...Me still...sleepih...
Alarm : WAKE UP YOU LAZY KID!!!
Rhen: *wakes up, surprised* What the?? Hey, did you just speak?
Alarm: *silent*
Rhen: Hey, seriously! You just spoke, didn't you?
Alarm : *silent*
Rhen: ...Whatever, then.*goes outside her room*

Mistress Rona is standing outside.

Rhen: Good morning, Mistress Rona.
Mrs. Rona: Yeah, good morning, Rhen. You woke up sooo early. Look, it's bright and the sun is just hovering above us. IT'S 10 O'CLOCK!
Rhen: 10 o'clock? That's still early.
Mrs.Rona: Well then, why don't you get some healthy morning exercise? GO KILL SPIDERS IN THE ATTIC!!!
Rhen: Huuuhh? Why me?
Mrs.Rona: Well, I dunno, maybe it has something to do with, you know, YOU BEING MY SLAVE!!
Rhen: Okay,okay. Now where is the bug spray?
Mrs.Rona: No bug spray! Use this! *hands a stick to Rhen*
Rhen: A stick? How can I possibly strike such small spiders with a stick like these?
Mrs. Rona: You'll see for yourself. Now go!

At the attic...

Rhen sees some spiders

Rhen: OMG!! These spiders are HUGE!! Are they mutants or something?

[Welcome to Aveyond. Here I will explain how to fight]

Rhen: Huh? Where did that voice come from?

[To commence a battle, move Rhen to the spiders and press Spacebar]

Player: *press buttons*
Rhen: *moves* Hey, why does my body move by its own? *nearing the spider* Hey, hey, hey, hey, I don't wanna fight that!

Battle Begin!

[Now you've entered your first battle. You and the enemies will take turn killing each other. Enjoy that! Bye!]

Player: What? They leave me alone like that!?
Rhen: I guess I need to fight these monsters alone...*battles, won*

[How was your first battle? Easy, right?]

Rhen: Yeah, sooo easy *only have 2 HP left*

[Monsters will drop loot when defeated. Try to search the spider's corpse]

Rhen: *searches* I found something! A...bread?

[To recover from your wounds, eat food. Now eat the bread]

Rhen: I have to eat a bread that comes out of a mutant spider's corpse?! That's gross!

[Eat it!]

Rhen: Ugh, fine! *eats, HP is full again* ...It's surprisingly delicious! I want more!

[Now there are 2 more spiders in the attic. Kill them]

Rhen: Okay, spider-corpse-bread, here I come!

1 hour later...

Rhen: Damn, no spider-corpse-bread!

[Oh, I forgot to mention, that's the only spider-corpse-bread you'll ever have, so please savor it]

Rhen: Awww. I better report to Mrs.Rona.

Say yay for Lars in this chapter! Yaay! I hope you'll like his twisted personality!

Chapter 4: Hello to Our Favorite Green-Hair!

Rhen: Mrs.Rona, I've killed the spiders. What the hell did you do to make them mutate, anyway?
Mrs.Rona: None of your business! Now take Lars' clothes from the laundry! He'll need it to go to the academy tomorrow.
Rhen: Yeah, yeah.

At the laundry, well, I don't think it's a laundry, but whatever.

Laundry Girl: Hello, Rhen!
Rhen: Hello, LG!
LG: Here to take Lars' clothes?
Rhen: Yup.
LG: Okay, here you are!*hands Rhen bags full of Lars' clothes*
Rhen: Oww! What are they gonna do with so many clothes? They're not trying to make him do a fashion show, are they? Even I know Lars and fashion show do NOT mix at all!
LG: Hey, Rhen, something just falls off!
Rhen: Oh right *notices a...pink, heart-patterned, frilly underpants* Is this...Lars' underwear?
LG: Apparently, I couldn't believe it either.
Rhen: Lars...in..this...Snrk...HAAAHHHAAAAHHAAA!! Now I has one of your secrets, Lars Tenobor!!*maniacal laughter*
LG: Ummm..Rhen?
Rhen: *stops maniacal laughter* Oh, sorry, gotta go.

Lars' house

Rhen: I'm back, Mrs. Rona.
Mrs.Rona: Good girl. Now fetch Lars for supper!
Rhen: Supper? But it's still morn...
The sky: *changes from morning to sunset in an instant*
Rhen: ...The sun god isn't on my side...*goes out*

Meanwhile...

Dameon: Achoo!

Back to the scene

Rhen: Now where could that irritating green hair be?*walks around town, find Lars with his friends*
Hector: Hey, here she comes.
Ylitta: Lars' new slave girl?
Rhen: Hey, Lars! Your mom wants you to come home!
Lars: A slave has no rights to speak like that to me.
Rhen: I don't care. I'm here to take you back.
Hector: Look, she's resisting. What a slave.*laughs, the snobbish kind*
Ylitta: Yeah, she's just like my dog, Peta. *laughs, the snobbish kind*
Lars: Peta.Peta.That sounds like a perfect name to her.
Hector and Ylitta: Yeah! *laughs, the snobbish kind, again*
Rhen: I'm Rhen, not Peta, dammit!
Lars: Unfortunately, Peta is a better name for you. *his cronies laugh, the sno..Argh!Can't we get over it!* However, it is true the sky is getting dark. I must go home soon. With Peta.
Pe-Oops, I mean Rhen: Stop it! And don't talk without any intonation like that! What are you, robot??
Lars: *in a robot-like tone* According to the information I have, I am not a robot. Please do not make any more unneeded barking like that.
Rhen: Don't insult people with that robot-like speech! Why must I fetch you for supper, anyway? Can't you just photosynthesis your own food with your leafy hair!?
Lars: Unfortunately, my hair are not leaves. They are green as a result of pigment I inherit from my mother. They are not from chlorophyll and therefore I cannot do photosynthesis. I am not surprised however, that you do not know this basic education.
Rhen: Whatever you say.



So, how do you like it? Well, about Lars, I thought about making him speak formally, but still annoys Rhen. And now he's a robot. So, from now on, when Lars speak, imagine him speaking in a flat way, without any intonation.

nice. update soon. how about...oh i guess u will have better ideas.

LOL. I love this
Lars is great. Annoying, sarcastic, so lovely And what about the biggest pervert Dameon? He has a fever?
I laughed at the underwear moment. I wonder what Rhen make with this secret
I know, my English is bad, sorry