Here is something which is definitely not me. Here is how everything went along.

~Week 1~

I must admit I missed a lot of days in Kumon. I went back two weeks ago after the Recognition day practice. I was somehow scolded by the instructor and compared me to another of my schoolmate, who appears to be much more smarter and a year older than me. I do not know why does she need to compare me. She even said that I must have less schedule than the other. Yes, I know he is a junior (who is going to be a senior) and I am a sophomore(who is becoming a junior) but why does she still need to compare me to him? I mean, our schedule is tighter than the other juniors. We had a lot of damn activities, oral reports and too many meetings! Also, why does she need to compare me with him? Each people are different, for pete's sake! So she told me that I must decide either if I must continue Kumon or rest. Actually, I have made a decision - to continue the program. However, I was just forced by my Mom. Mother said that I would lose a lot of things and I need it for Entrance Exams for College. But I told them that I would continue April and rest in May. But still.....

~Week 2~

Now this is getting bad. I really want to rest in the province and get away from the city. But some other people forced me that I must discontinue my trip to Bohol and continue my studies. It really gave me the urge to cuss within myself. Something like an attitude of a backstabber. I do not want to name those people. So my decision was final. I will sacrifice three restless months of studying the subject I hated the most. By the time I knew this, I really had this feeling of anger in my heart. To those whom I talk to in chat, you may have noticed my tone changed.

~Today~
After some time, I calmed down quite a bit. Mom promised me that she will bring me to some place. Though actually, I hate to say this but I was doubting her words. Most promises by the people I know were always broken. So Mom went back home from the Medical Mission and work. She told me that my Grandmother was greatly saddened so much by knowing that I would not be able to go to Bohol and visit her. I frowned and this feeling of anger came back in me. She stepped out of the room and then my tears started to flow from my eyes. I love my relatives and family members so much that I would want to live the day that I would see them safe. I took a towel and wiped my tears, while mumbling cursed words as well.

I do not know what to do. People may know me as a gentle and straight kind of a guy but this happening to me? I am so depressed. This fire blazes so greatly in my heart that I cannot douse off the fire. I realized that this is not me. Its a monstrosity who took my emotions. Is this me?